Don't Panic!: Is the euro coming apart?

Is it Monday morning quarterbacking to tell you I knew the euro was going come apart? They don’t have quarterbacks in Europe so I’m not sure what the equivalent figure of speech is. Monday morning corner-kicking? Monday morning beret knitting? Monday morning red wine decanting? Monday morning panini pressing? Monday morning nutella spreading?

Anyway, whatever European thingy you want to call it, I’m telling you I knew it was gonna happen. I’m no financial whiz. Not at all. But it’s just common sense, people. The euro is inherently unstable. Big chunks of greasy lamb meat and yogurt sauce wedged tight into folded pita? Everyone who has ever held a euro knows you’ve only got about five minutes before the pita soaks ups so much dripping fat and yogurt that it begins to crumble. That’s why they wrap them in tin foil.

And don’t ever get me started on the mess euros makes when you put them in your wallet. Last time I went to Europe, I ruined two pairs of pants on the first day. Thank goodness for debit cards.

(Editor pulls columnist aside to explain mix-up).

Okay, so it appears I may have been slightly confused earlier about the precise nature of Europe’s currency crisis. The euro and the gyro are apparently two different things. This explains the annoyed look I kept getting from cashiers when I visited Vienna in 2007.

The euro crisis is actually about the viability of Europe’s common currency. There’s a growing likelihood some or all European countries will revert to their pre-euro national currencies.

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