True Blood’ season 2, episode 2

Jesus freaks. Bus ride sing-a-longs. Honesty rings. Third-rate entertainment provided by jailbait performers (“Jesus Asked Me Out Today” coming soon to a Target/Wal-Mart/Sam’s Club near you). Simmering sexual frustration emanating from a repressed preacher’s wife. Sounds like a Jo Bros concert, but it is, in fact, the Light of Day Institute.

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Jason Stackhouse is off to church camp and all seems to be going swimmingly — he has a bunkmate and dominates in Capture the Flag — until he nearly runs a stake through Sarah Newlin’s heart and his roomie, Luke, calls him a fraud (“You just think you walk on water, don’t you?” “No ... I believe that was Moses.” “No ... Moses parted the Red Sea. Jesus walked on water.” Oh, Jason.)

Back in Fangtasia’s dungeon, Eric splatters Lafayette with Royce chunks as he finishes his feeding frenzy. Eric becomes worried about his hair, layered through with carefully placed highlighting foils. Eric: “Is there blood in my hair?” Lafayette: “Yeah, there’s a little bit of blood in there.” He drags Lafayette upstairs to question him about another sheriff, Godric from Dallas, who’s gone missing. Lafayette rats out Jason as a possible vampire napper and Eric throws him back into the basement. (Of note, one bottle each of Southern Comfort and Tabasco are sitting on Eric’s desk. Who ever said these guys weren’t trying to mainstream?!)