True Blood' season 2, episode 10

What's a girl gotta do for a little peace and quiet around here? Sookie leaves town for five minutes and sadomasochistic sex zombies take over Bon Temps. There's penis graffiti on the welcome sign, a giant tower of freesia and warm meats in her front yard, and her glassy-eyed best friend's mind has been erased. Not to mention all the hell that broke loose in Dallas and the fact that she continues to have naughty dreams about Eric. Bad Sookie.

When Bill, Sookie and Jason finally make it back to Bill's place, they find Maxine gone batshit-crazy shrieking at Hoyt about what a disappointment he is. Bill, trying to parse out the situation, can barely get a word in edgewise. He demands that Hoyt calm her down, so Hoyt offers "Playing Wii gets her to focus, but I wouldn't call it calmed down." With Maxine distracted, Jessica and Hoyt finally have a chance to fill the threesome in on everything from the parties at Maryann's (er, Sookie's) place to Daphne, the new waitress at Merlotte's who had her heart ripped out. (Jason: "There's a new waitress at Merlotte's?")

Jason, emboldened by his sneak attack at the Fellowship of the Sun, decides the same kind of guerrilla action is necessary in Bon Temps. Sookie protests, but "I'm not about to let monsters destroy my town," says Jason. Bill and Sookie go to scope out the old Stackhouse place, leaving Maxine at the mercy of Jessica, who's had just about enough of being called a bloodsucking tramp. She may be a bloodsucker, but she ain't no tramp. She's an eternal virgin for chrissakes. And she's hungry.