Real Housewives of Atlanta” Ep. 10: Put the Spark St. Jude in your love life”

Kim’s relationship with international lesbian Tracy Young-exposed!

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Love love love. Some people have it, some people want it, and some people hire Patti Stanger of “Millionaire Matchmaker” to set them up with escorts. But the women of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” know a little something else about romance. After all my berating of Love Doctor Tiy-E Muhammad (hey look what I found scouring the CL archives!), I kind of miss his oozing sliminess now that he’s gone. Isn’t that just the way love goes? Luckily, his lessons of gender studies and power roles seems to have made an impression on his fellow castmates’ relationships. So this week on the “Real Divorcées of Atlanta”...

Kim’s a lesbian! Kim’s a lesbian! Kim’s found a way to bypass Tiy-E’s rigid dating rules of the gender dichotomy by swimming in the lady pond. What’s everyone’s problem, Kim complains, she only scissored internationally-known DJ Tracy Young—get over it! This whole time I thought it was Kim fabricating a lesionic relationship for the press, but Tracy is just as into it, if not more, calling her “baby girl” and flying down to Atlanta to lovingly support Kim as she assaults our eardrums in the name of music. Or maybe she wants the press too. There’s something a little off about Tracy, something’s a little unstable sounding in her attempt at a sexy voice. But what could she possibly see in Kim? Is it the cigarette smell of her breath? The dried vomit in her wigs? Her orange mask of a face? I’m totally okay with Kim being a publicity bisexual whore, but it’s the part that anyone would find her attractive that’s so confusing.

The last time Kim saw vocal coach Jan Smith, things didn’t go so well. As in Jan told Kim that her voice was like a pretty house exterior with a seriously cracked foundation, and thus Jan summed up everyone on the show. But things are different now. Kim is serious. Music is her life. This is her life passion. So with international lesbian Tracy Young by her side. she is ready to face the dragon again. Jan is a real professional, trying her hardest to help Kim without saying “You are a horrible human being” in so many words. You know when you’re shopping and everything is so outrageously expensive, but then you find a $50 hoodie, which isn’t that great of a deal, but at $50 it seems like a steal compared to the $800 boots? After listening to Kim moan and heehaw all season on the song, she actually sounded comparably better after Jan’s help. Kind of. Way to go Jan! But that was just for vocal training. No!!! So in Kim went, back into the studio the next day to lay down the track. It was not a success. Will Kandi ever be able to wash her hands of this?