Rescue Me' Final Season, episode 3: Planning a wedding is super!

Lou continues to be a fat ass, Janet needs to lay off the Olean, and Colleen goes dress shopping.


Lou's fat, y'all. How fat is he? Well it looks to me that he's definitely gained a few lbs and is mostly made up the cream filling in a cannoli that's been sitting on the counter while Satan breathes on it for a few days. Gross. So, given the fact that the guys in the house put their asses on the line (right, Franco?) to make sure he passed his physical, Lou is still eating sugar-coated lard for breakfast in the fire house so Franco stages a coup. He was all, "Lou, WTF?! We just did this flipping awesome and career-threatening thing for you and you sit here and act like there's no issue" and Lou was all like "Look bra, I'm pulling rank and you can go ahead and STFU." Since Needles is clearly unaware of the antics at the hospital, he concurs with Lou and Franco walks away with his head between his sexy man legs.

Back in Tommy's world, Sheila, kid still out at therapy, is still besties with Janet and gives Tommy a lesson in empathy. And then lets him know that due to Janet's pregnancy-induced anal leakage she won't be feeling like doing the nasty (probably because she's got nasty covered for a while. #truth) for the rest of her gestational period. Of course Tommy finds a way to ram his foot in his mouth and he gets banned from the apartment, so what does he do? He goes and saves KELLY from a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad date. The gentleman caller is sent packing so they can have another heart to heart. So THEN he thinks it's a good idea to go back to her apartment, but still, they're just talking, which is in no way cheating on his anally leaking wife. End scene.