The Televangelist: ‘Hell on Wheels’ Season Finale

Time to play “where did I put that danged severed head?”

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  • AMC.com
  • “Stop acting like such a foolishly exaggerated stereotype of an Irish immigrant! You are not a Leprechaun!”



Like any mediocre narrative piece looking for an inherently dramatic event to end its story with, there was ... a prom! It all played out like some kind of bizarre prophesy: “and whores will dance with rich men! And the innocent will be slain on the tracks!” And if there wasn’t enough, there was a tarring and feathering of the already proverbially castrated Swede. Interestingly, none of the villains kept their teeth this season - The Man With The Hole In His Head (TMWTHIHH henceforth) returned in such good graces that Eva spent hours and hours dancing with him despite the fact that only about a week prior he had essentially strung her love interest by his neck from the rafters of a bar. The Pawnee threat was neutralized, as was the man looking to hunt down Joseph Black Moon (thanks to the Reverend’s intervention). And the final piece of Bohannon’s revenge slaughter turned out to be an innocent man - the real culprit would never be known and his wife’s death never fully avenged. But hey, as Elam reminded Bohannon, “let go of the past!” It’s the prom!

The big story at the dance was, of course, whether Head Cheerleader Lily (who proved she could also kick it with the bad boys) would go with the Quarterback, Doc, or run off with the guy who casually smokes cigarettes behind the gym and never turns up for pep rallies, Bohannon. Because Bohannon was acting on the Reverend’s words (“choose hate! It’s so much easier...”) he was unable to escort The Fair-Haired Maiden of the West the the dance, and instead spent the time murdering, because that’s what vigilantes do.

The sweet couple we were rooting for all season - Elam and Eva - had their own dramatic moment when Eva got her signals mixed thinking that Elam wanted to marry her and settle down. “Whoa, whoa woman - where’s the fire?” his terrified eyes said. Unfortunately, Eva fell into the position of believing a man she slept with who said he wanted her to be his. Who does this woman think she is, expecting a man to marry her after post-coital declarations of love? What is this, the 1860s? Dejected, Eva, who “don’t wanna be a vagabond no more” dances away the night with her lover’s almost-killer (TMWTHIHH) in sweet harmony until he shows up jealous, whereupon Eva has to basically tell him that if he wants it then he’d better put a ring on it.