The Walking Dead’ Season 2, Ep. 8: Two dead guys walk into a bar ...

• AMC
• Georgia is NOT pedestrian friendly.

I got off a plane last night jeeeust in time to watch “The Walking Dead” mid-season premier episode (or whatever) entitled “Nebraska.” And guess where I’d just come from ... NEBRASKA. My life is exactly “The Walking Dead.” But less boring.

So, listen. I didn’t think this episode was very good (my colleague Chad Radford, who read the graphic novels, begged to differ). We pick up RIGHT where we left off, outside the barn in the moments following The Great BarnZombie Massacre of 2K11. Hershel extra wants them to leave the farm now. Rick has some ‘splainin’ to do. Andrea has a pick axe and is enthusiastic about using it.

And then there’s lots of “stills” ...
— Sophia’s still dead (now we just need Carl to get dead, amiright?) Bald mom isn’t taking it terribly well. Well, actually, when the rest of them are burying Sophia bald mom’s like, “No thanks. That’s just some zombie, not my daughter.” But then she takes out her pent-up sadsies on a bunch of Cherokee Roses, the flowers Daryl said were symbolic of Sophia’s alive-ness BUT HE A LIE. Basically, no one’s taking Sophia’s death well because finding her was a project that gave them a reason to feel hopeful, and now things are just a little more awful than they already were.

— Shane still thinks he did the right thing. And he still hates Dale a bunch. Shane says to Dale, he says, “Next time I need a radiator hose, I’ll give you a call man.” Ouch. He did him like he did Otis, but with words instead.

— Dale’s still really annoying and nostrily. He attempts to convince Lori that Shane killed Otis, and it’s funny because it’s like he forgot that he’s old and people don’t listen to people who are old. I don’t think I have to explain the nostrily bit.

BUT, FINE, THERE WAS NEW STUFF, TOO.

Hershel’s off the wagon! He quit drinking when Maggie was born but now that everything’s gone to shit, he sees fit to hit the bottle again. Maybe he’ll lighten up a little. Hershel’s triumphant return to alcoholism ushers in the most (only?) exciting scene in the episode. When Hershel goes to a local bar to get loaded, one of the she-folk collapses and Rick has to go get him, because he’s the best veterinarian in all the land. While they’re at the bar and Hershel’s being all suicidey, a couple of guys walk in and right away it’s like, oh, hi, here are two people who are going to die soon. (OR WILL THEY? Rick’s a giant peen, after all.) ‘Specially because they’re carpetbaggers from the North (more GWTW parallells!) who want to take over the farm. AND they’re bearers of bad news: Fort Bening is fucked. The guys — a skinny and a fat — say they’ve heard busses are taking people to Nebraska. But who wants to go to Nebraska when you could just kill the people you just met at the bar and take over their farm which is for sure nearby? Luckily, Rick’s balls came in and he shoots the guys in their respective heads (smart!). And, good, because I took umbrage with the “they call them flyover states for a reason” quip. Nebraska is actually quite lovely.

OH, and Lori got in a car accident. She should really be more careful. Considering she’s pregnant. And a fucking zombie apocalypse is happening.