Egypt figures out Elton John is gay

Egyptian Musician Union does not want to go on with Elton John like that.

Was it the outfits? The maudlin songs about tragic blondes?

Or maybe it was the fact he's been speaking publicly about sex with men for 34 years, and has been married to a dude for five of them.

Whatever the reason, someone in Egypt apparently just now figured out part-time Atlantan Elton John is gay and is using this fact as an excuse to ban a concert he has scheduled there later this month.

'How do we allow a gay, who wants to ban religions, claimed that the prophet Eissa (Jesus) was gay and calls for Middle Eastern countries to allow gays to have sexual freedom,' head of the Egyptian Musician Union, Mounir al-Wasimi told the German Press Agency dpa.

Like Iran, Egypt has no gay people.

In related news, Mounir al-Wasimi probably just got himself banned from playing parts of the U.S. by referring to Jesus as a mere prophet.

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