Omnivore - Big Red finally gets her wish

Taste everything and never grow fat!


  • Paul Cooper, The Daily Mail
  • Whaf, don't eat

Remember Big Red's fantasy in Tom Robbins' Even Cowgirls Get the Blues?:

Big Red thought, "Wouldn't it be dad burned wonderful if there was a machine that you could hook up to your plate of food that would extract the flavors from it.

"After you'd ate all your belly could comfortably hold, you could stick a plastic tube in your mouth, switch on the little machine, and the flavors would continue to run into your mouth for as long as you pleased, without nothin' goin' into your belly to make it fuller and fatter.

"Mmm, Lord, Lord; ham gravy, cheese 'n onion pie, chili, rice puddin', Lord."

In the main exercise room of the Rubber Rose, there was an immediate market for such an apparatus, and, no doubt, sales around the world could be counted in tens of millions, the international situation notwithstanding.

It would, moreover, constitute an unprecedented boon for mankind, keeping as many people off the streets as television and saving more lives than a cancer cure.

Therefore, in the public interest, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues offers the Big Red flavor device idea free of charge to any inventor who can make it a reality.

Well, it looks as though an inventor has made Big Red's flavor device a reality. Harvard University Professor David Edwards calls his invention Le Whaf. It allows you to literally inhale flavors like chocolate instead of eating the calorific stuff. You stay thin but supposedly satiated.

Edwards, who earlier invented a similar lipstick-sized device called Le Whif, told The Daily Mail:

‘Imagine a restaurant where, instead of sitting at a table, you walk around,’ he says in his chalky-soft voice. ‘Instead of eating food, you’re breathing it in as you walk from room to room, each with a different flavour. Celery in one. Steak in another. Then pate.’

Who will be first in Atlanta to offer this molecular-gastronomic hookah?