Omnivore - 'Top Chef' season 9, episode 9: What what in the butt

When life gets rough, paint butts

Hey guys, remember this from last night?


That's right, I'm talking bout all the "modernist" butts decorating Chris. C.'s bedroom. During the Quickfire challenge guest starring Nathan Myhrvold and his book Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking all the contestants talk about how mod-AIR-n they are in life (or not, Grayson). Chris C. points out how modernly his apartment is decorated, specifically referring to the nude paintings that he, and I quote, "likes to do."

Cut to Chris C.'s, aka Malibu's, audition tape wherein we glimpse said modernist paintings and listen as CC describes his artistic motivations, namely that he paints tits and butts so people won't think he's gay. HEY PEOPLE, IT'S HARD BEING THIS GOOD LOOKING. So hard, he's gotta paint butts.

Chris is a real douche bag it turns out, and it makes for the best kind of uncomfortable TV watching, which is too bad considering...