Omnivore - ‘Top Chef’ season 9, episode 11

• Bravo TV/NBC Universal
• The face of evil

Well waddaya know? You quit forcing chefs to jump through dry-rubbed, slow cooked Texas hoops for the sake of TV and ya get the Best Meal in Top Chef History™. We love Top Chef Firsts™ on Top Chef™!

Anthony Bourdain’s Frenchier, more distinguished-looking twin Eric Ripert shows up in the kitchen with a denim laundry bag filled with Padma. For the Quickfire, the chefs have to pick three ingredients each from a moving conveyor belt. The catch is that the conveyor belt is full of crappy ingredients and the longer a chef waits the better crap gets except that means the longer you wait the less time that you have to cook. Tough decisions! Classic Top Chef! A brief but epic battle between Chris J., an elusive bucket of lobsters, and the conveyor belt follows.

In the end, Ripert and his belted laundry bag in heels like Bev’s dish the best, but - Oh no! - she forgot her curried Rice Crispies topping. So she can’t be champion. Guess we’ll give immunity to ol’ Lindsay and her bouillabaisse, they say. Actually, I say good job to Lindsay for impressing a Frenchie with your bouillabaisse. Good Job!

So Quickfire’s over, and in walks big time movie star Charlize Theron. Sarah starts crying. Edward wets his pants. Padma regrets wearing a laundry bag (even though cinching it with a belt did give her a waistline at least) instead of a nice dress like move star Charlize Theron. Charlize is starring as the evil queen in the forthcoming Snow White and the Huntsman and she wants a wicked feast. And a wicked feast she shall have.