Neighborhood News: Old Fourth Ward, Forest Park, Midtown, Little Five Points, Decatur May 19 2011

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• Aw, they have so much frowns in common.

It's a strange and beautiful thing when sitting through a third motherfucking hour of this show feels worthwhile. The actual finale? I don't know. Josh definitely did NOT get his suit at Casual Male XL: Big and Tall, which is where he should be shopping, and until now I never knew that people who were...

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• An envelope full of panties.

Oh, there's ever so much for the men to tell, mostly about why and how much they hate Andrew and J.J.

BUT FIRST Ashley Hebert and J.P. Hebertbaum are back because she's pregnant and needs people to see that she has breasts now. But, no, that's not enough. She's going to find out whether she's having a girl or a...

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• But, hey, she really loved Ghosts in the Graveyard.

It's a question as old as time itself: If you had to spend your life with either an adult baby or a banana-handed cyborg who makes a very literal "MWAH" sound every time he kisses you, which would you choose?

I came up with an answer that was unsatisfactory to my viewing companions, but we'll get to that later.

First, poor Chris! Just...

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• The best part of the whole episode

How's this for a coincidence: we send seven marginally employed single people and a shitty country duo called American Young to Belgium to dry hump on park benches and swap spit in a monastery's pottery barn, and then Belgium handily beats the U.S. in the World Cup. Everyone should pretend to be mad at The Bachelorette just like we're all pretending...