The Walking Dead’ recap: Big bad Wolves

The season finale that wasn’t


? Well, that was disappointing. For all of my random hopes and dreams that “The Walking Dead” season 5 finale would be action-packed, revealing, and downright awesome, it just wasn’t. But, that’s not to say there aren’t some things to look forward to in the future, despite the fact we spent our Sunday night watching what played out to be more of a 90-minute table-setting episode than conclusory end to another chapter in cable’s most popular television series. We kinda sorta got some answers from questions that’ve been floating in our heads since the second-half of this season started, but in all, last night’s “Conquer” might go down as the show’s weakest finale. Warning: Spoilers ahead!
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? ??? Arguably the highlight of the entire ep centered on the return of Morgan (Lennie James). The show’s cold open features our boy doing his best Donatello impression, whooping ass with a bo staff, after he’s seemingly cornered by humans rocking the painted “W“‘s on their foreheads. Before the attack, one of the two men starts going on about wolves, taking people’s shit, and blah, blah, blah. So, does this mean our “W” is in fact a mark of the Wolves? And was that long-haired wolfman, Neagan? Well, it’s clear these two guys and the rest of their band of violent looters are the folks that set the nifty, walker booby traps that befall Daryl and Aaron on their recruitment run. These two have a total bromance brewing, and as they share a moment, trapped in a car surrounded by walkers, that’s right when we all started to flip our shit when the former told the latter he’ll essentially sacfririce himself. Surprise! It’s Morgan that saves the day. Side note: If Daryl dies, we riot. Don’t fuck with us, Mr. Kirkman.
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? Back in Alexandria, everyone’s getting ready for the big Neighborhood Association meeting to decide whether or not Rick and Co. should stay or go. We learn that despite getting knocked the fuck out by Michonne, the Ricktatorship is still very much intact. Abraham, Carol, Glenn, and even Michonne let him know as much, and we get the feeling shit will most certainly hit the fan when Deanna attempts to hold court later. Rick’s still got that crazed look in his eye, and more or less wants to kill Pete, still. 

? At the meeting, everyone on Team Rick speaks on his behalf, telling the lowly, domesticated Alexandrians that the constable will teach them to be cold-hearted survivors. Meanwhile, outside of the bonfire that felt eerily similar to those tribal councils on “Survivor” where someone gets voted off, things are, uh, things get all kumbaya: Glenn and Nicholas wrestle, and try and kill each other in the woods, only to make amends; Sasha’s taking naps with walkers then later comes a trigger-pull away from offing Father Gabriel, only to be stopped by Maggie. Naturally, a three-person prayer circle follows; and Rick kills three walkers that make their way into the compound because the world’s worst pastor decided to leave the front door open. Hell, even Abraham and Eugene kiss and make up. Call me sadistic, but there were just too many positive vibes going on here. I was hoping for some blood, maybe some dismemberment. (Good thing I watched “The Jinx” beforehand.)
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? Rick finally shows up to the meeting, covered in blood and walker guts, looking as bat-shit crazy as he did at the end of last week. BUT, he tosses one of the walker corpses (Side note: if they’re already dead can they be a corpse?) down on the ground in front of everyone to make a statement. At this point, I figured when Andrew Lincoln went back into his whole “kill or be killed’ shtick we’d get our first wave of an invasion from the wolfmen from earlier in the ep. Yeah, not so much. Instead, we got our one of our big, most obvious human deaths of the night when a drunken Pete stumbles into the meeting in a rage, carrying what looks to be Michonne’s katana, and slices Reg’s throat. (Didn’t have the same effect as say, the Governor taking the same katana to Herschel’s neck, a few seasons back.) At this point, we see Alexandria’s Boss Lady switch over to the Ricktatorship, asking Rick to finally off Pete. Snooze.
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? We close things out with two intriguing storylines: 1) We catch back up with the wolfmen, who somehow have found a way to hypnotize walkers with Gazelle Twin’s cover of Brian Wilson’s “Love & Mercy.” They slit the throat of the guy in a red poncho, spotted earlier by Aaron and Daryl. Oh, and they’ve got photos of Rick and Co. An invasion is coming, just not till Fall I guess. 2) After Rick blows Pete’s head off, he’s greeted by Aaron, Daryl, and ... Morgan, who simply responds to the brutality with, “Rick?” Fade to black.
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? So, yeah, that was it. Two characters (I guess we’ll just say “people” since we knew next to nothing about them anyway) we gave no fucks about lost their lives, and we did and didn’t get confirmation on just who exactly the people behind the “W“‘s are and what they plan on doing to our crew in the near future. Perhaps we’ve been spoiled by finales past where everyone from villains to heroes get killed, and drastic, life-altering measures are taken to completely drive the various plots home. Basically the first half of season 5 was great, the latter half, uh, slightly more than decent. But, that’s not say it was bad, it just didn’t quite deliver like we thought it would. Here’s to season 6. See y’all in October!
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? BEST LINE
? “Simply put; there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don’t know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit, and then some.” — Abraham talking to the Alexandrians on Rick’s behalf
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? MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT
? Any and every scene with Morgan. Duh.
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? RANDOM ASIDES
? - ICYMI: The promo for “The Walking Dead” companion series, “Fear the Walking Dead,” which premieres this summer.
? - Showrunner Scott M. Gimple offered a sneak peek into possible storylines for next season