The Series Cynic: Splitsville in Tinseltown for Braves

Cynic Lineup:



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  • Jason Heyward


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  • Kenshin Kawakami


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  • Martin Prado’s left hand





“The Chosen-- Blind One” struggled all weekend in Los Angeles and as a result saw his batting average drop from a respectable .287 to a wimpy .269---thanks to a 2-for-17 series where Heyward struck out eight, count ‘em, EIGHT times.

When a batter strikes out four times in a game, the term “Golden Sombrero” is used to describe the rather forgettable occurrence---a distinction J-Hey would have gladly accepted on Friday night following his five strikeout performance.

We may need a new term for that kind of ineptitude. How does the “Platinum Foam Cowboy Hat” sound?