Karma Cleanser - December 25 2002

Dear Karma Cleanser:
My boss and I are having a major problem: We have a person on staff who needs to be fired. We should have fired him a few months ago, but we kept giving him another chance. We’ve continually talked to him about his bad and lazy attitude. We’ve also found him working on personal jobs on the clock. Last week he seriously damaged a piece that cost us over $1,000. Will we get bad karma for firing him so close to Christmas? Please help.

b>-- You’ll shoot your eye out

Why delay the inevitable? Sounds like your slack co-worker has had the sword of Damocles hovering overhead for quite sometime. Cut him loose now and at least he’ll have a dramatic story to tell. Let’s hope he didn’t overspend this year.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I’m a secret agent for heartbreak. Every woman that I date, soon enough they turn out to be enemy agents bent on destroying the world ... my world, at least. This has been the way it is with me for a long time now. I get a new assignment from my “superiors” to search and conquer some hot little number, but my mission is never successful. What am I doing wrong? I think there’s some bad karma going on here; I just don’t know what I need to do to continue defending my manhood from sabotage. -- Double-0 Nothing

b>
Did you ever stop to think that maybe you’re the one shooting yourself in the foot here, Austin Powerless? If you view the women in your world as little more than double agents, no wonder you always end up strapped to a table with a laser beam aimed at your ... revolver. The Cold War is over, comrade; stop living a spy novel and check out the self-help section.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
(In response to “Bank Robber,” Dec. 4): My friend found herself in a similar situation. She was working a temp job for a medical company and found a plastic thingy on the floor. She thought it was cool so she took it home with her and placed it on her mantle. Turns out that it’s part of a custom-made prosthetic device that’s worth about $1,000. My friend no longer works at the company, so she doesn’t know if she should return it or not. -- Hands-off friend

b>
Egad, of course she should return it! Drop the thing in a bag and leave it in their mailbox after hours. To do otherwise would be not just dishonest, but flat-out creepy.

Been bad? Ring in 2003 with a clear conscience.

karma@creativeloafing.com.??