Dangerous Moves: Viva Se̱or Selleck: Mayor of Ponce bar crawls down Buford Hwy., pt. 2

Fantasy Guys play Night 3 of Irrelevant Music Fest at 529
Photo credit: Kelly Reardon

This one's a bit trickier. It's one thing to ham it up in a sleazy strip club. It's another to bounce on foreign turf, while them not get the joke and we not speak the language. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but I wouldn't suggest bringing a ballpoint to a knife fight. At least, not to a fight you want to live to blog about.

&-;There's a group playing tonight," says the door guy explaining the $5 cover. I like that &-;groups" play these places, not bands. &-;Groups" sounds like I'm at least getting choreography along with the retardation. Fuck it, here's my money.

We're outside Confetti's Discotheque and the guy is actually making a couple gringos feel pretty welcome. We talk him down to $10 for all three of us. &-;The pretty lady is free," he says smiling. I'd smile, too. She's a breezy in any language.

He doesn't even frisk us. No matter. To Slay's disappointment, I left the rest of my steak for the kitchen staff at Follies to scuffle over.

There's an eerie feeling as we walk in. That'll happen when you're instantly met with about 20 or so señoritas milling about by the front entrance in their Saturday night attire. It's odd, but I'll take it. Bienvenido, indeed.