Musicians to avoid

Let's fight at least

Living in the public eye can be so frustrating that some musicians just snap. Over the years a few have physically lashed out at people, from critics and photographers to obsessed fans and annoying hecklers. Some are more dangerous than others, though, and there's a select list of artists I would least like to fight:

1) DMX: What do the streets of Yonkers, N.Y., and prison have in common? They ain't the friendliest of places, and they both helped produce Earl Simmons, aka the Dark Man Unknown. If "The Dawg" ever barked at me I'd roll over and play dead.

2) John Tesh: Laugh if you will, but this piano-playing punchline is 6 feet 6 inches tall with a serious reach. Plus, after all those years of being made fun of, you know he has an inner well of rage just waiting to be unleashed.

3) Kid Rock: He used to date Pamela Anderson, so if you give him a bloody nose you run the risk of catching hepatitis C.

4) GG Allin: Um, yeah ... how do you hurt a man who lives to hurt himself? Even from the grave this guy scares the shit out of me, which is sort of appropriate considering he would throw his own feces at the crowd during performances.

5) Courtney Love: It's not a fair fight to begin with because I was taught never to hit a woman, but besides that, she's one crazy bitch.

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