Shamu Rocks America

In the name of scientific research, Seaworld has dazzled tourists for years with its acrobatic killer whales. “Shamu” is not one whale, but a family of performing whales that share a name, much like drag queen families do. The whales have far less style but have updated their act with rock music.

1) “Help!” - The Beatles: The song plays as taped bloopers play on a big screen. Apparently, it’s not as easy to balance on a leaping whale’s nose as it may look.?
2) “R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.” - John Cougar (or Cougar Mellencamp. Or Mellencamp. Pick your favorite last name.): At least, I think that’s the song. It was hard to hear over the simultaneous screams of the first 14 rows of the arena getting splashed by a 22-foot whale.?
3) “What I Like about You” - The Romantics: What I like about this song is now those soaked people are realizing what the whales do in that “sea” water.?
4) “The Middle” - Jimmy Eat World: I loathe this song.?
5) “Get Ready for This” - 2 Unlimited: Doesn’t it make you happy to know that choreographers - whether directing drill teams or large mammals - love this jam?