Karma Cleanser - August 21 2002

I want my ex-boyfriend dead. Is that so wrong?

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I just found out that my boyfriend of two years has been cheating. To add insult to injury, my dad just died of brain cancer. My boyfriend wasn’t supportive, but he would tell me I needed to go home and visit more often — just so he could have the new girl over at the apartment the whole time I was out of town. She knew about me. He not only cheated while I had to say my final good-byes to my father but also while I was pregnant.

Is it normal for me to want him dead or to lose his business? I hear he is losing his store. Every night I want to go over and hurt him or his precious car (which I bought). I bought his car and he took her out in it the first day off the lot. I hear he loves her. Meanwhile I’m bitter, alone, grieving the death of my father, dead baby and cheating ex. Will he get what he deserves in time?
-- Hurting, please respond

First off, we applaud your amazing self-control. The easy answer is yes, he’ll get what he deserves, but probably not the way you expect. You may be eager to cook up a hot, steaming plate of revenge. Resist. Revenge will arrive when you both least expect it, and the dish will be quite cold.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
We were out bar-hopping with a friend who was in town for the weekend. My friend “Darva” decided that we should all do shots. Three shots later and Darva was getting all friendly with our friend who was visiting for the weekend, “James,” who we have known for a few years. Next thing I know, the two of them are making out. They ended up leaving the bar together later, leaving me to find another ride home. I was so mad, I called Darva’s boyfriend the next day and told him about what happened. He didn’t believe me and brought it up with Darva, who, of course, denied that anything happened. The boyfriend believes her, not me. So what did I end up with? A best friend who hates me, a former friend who lives in another city and a $30 taxi fare. Should I have kept my big trap shut?
?-- Don’t do shots

Sounds to us like ol’ tipsy Darva’s been itching to get her claws in James for a while, and you were just a minor bump in the road to the bedroom. Don’t sweat it too much. If the friendship is meant to be, it’ll come back around, shots or not.

Been bad? Send us the story of the worst thing you ever did to a friend. karma@creativeloafing.com.