Karma Cleanser - October 16 2002

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
You know what I do for fun? I like to walk along the sidewalk and if I happen upon a parking ticket that someone has stupidly thrown away, I write a nasty note to the traffic court and drop it in a convenient mailbox. What do ya think of that idea?

b>-- Isle of Satan

Silly Satan. The Karma Cleanser sees right through your plot. You wanted to goad us into a tirade on how random acts of evil never lead to real happiness. Well, you’re not gonna get it.

Sure, your letter makes you sound like a real asshole, who clearly has not a modicum of maturity and zero respect for humanity.

But the Karma Cleanser is in the business of lifting people up, not tearing them down. Perhaps you could learn something from our amazing powers of restraint.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have spent so much time in the darkroom.

What started out as a routine little hobby on the side turned into my obsession, more potent than any potable, more addictive than heroin. I bought the camera, the tripod, etc., closed off the downstairs bathroom, decided to see what would develop. I never knew it would turn out like this.

Eleven weeks later, my marriage came to an end. She left. No big warning. No major fight. Just a fast goodbye, an easy “I hope you’re happy.”

So now I’m asking, was it me? Should I have taken her advice and gotten on Paxil instead? I want to go back in time, but for the love of God, I really don’t know what in the hell went wrong.

b>-- Photo Matt

We’re guessing that there’s more to this picture than meets the eye. Any letter writer who throws around words like “obsession,” “addiction” and “Paxil” usually has more going on under the surface than we can see in black and white.

That said, we humbly suggest that you really do know what went wrong, and that the newfound photo fixation was just the straw that broke the camera’s back, so to speak.

Come out of the darkroom long enough to have a good, long look at your own behavior — without the use of a telephoto lens.

Been bad? Wash the windows of your soul: karma@creativeloafing.com.??