Karma Cleanser - October 23 2002

To tip or not to tip: cheap dad endangers child’s food

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
Please advise on this situation. My father does not believe in tipping for food delivery orders. I have spoken to him about this on several occasions but he seems to think it’s not necessary. I’ve taken to telling him an order costs more than what it really does so I can give the delivery person a tip. Is my soul destined for some sort of parental dishonor hell for this? Please guide me, Karma Cleanser. I really don’t want future spit in my food or the wrong pizza. -- Tipping is not a city in China

Your situation sounds to us like some modern spin on an Aesop fable — “The Miserly Father and the Malnourished Delivery Man.” Except, in those fucked-up stories, your dad would end up with a pizza box magically glued to his nose, or some other grotesquely fitting punishment. In any case, no, you’re probably not hellbound for skimming off the top for the delivery person, and yes, your dad’s going to get his just desserts in the end. On second thought, maybe he should watch out for that pizza box.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
Out of spite, I, in a child-like fit, smashed an egg in a one-armed co-worker’s mailbox. After discovering that it was a felony and feeling a little guilty about my evil deed, I smashed an egg in my own mailbox and cleaned it out one handed. (Well, I did use my right arm once).

Did I redeem myself? -- Eggstreme Felon

Wow, Felon, kudos to you for doing the Karma Cleanser’s work for us. Yes, it certainly does sound like you’ve redeemed yourself (even if the other arm did slip in there once). On the other hand (heh heh, no pun intended), we can’t help but wonder what the one-armed man did in the first place to piss you off.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
In response to “Seeking Answers and Squeaking By,” (Oct. 9) the divorcee who was looking for joy in her (or his) life, I did not like your answer. Sure, you can tell us that our joy can’t be ordered around, but I like to think that happiness is a choice, not a happenstance.

b>-- Decide to Make it So

You’re right — partly. Happiness is a choice. But we like to think that you must choose to accept happiness, and deal with heartache, as it comes. As Rumi says: “Keep knocking, and the joy inside/ will eventually open a window/ and look out to see who’s there.”

Been bad? Take a left turn toward redemption and a right at relief: karma@creativeloafing.com.??