Karma Cleanser - May 18 2005

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?My little sister is dating a guy who plays guitar in a band. She got me and my boyfriend to come to see the band play, and she asked us to invite some other people since this was their first real gig. We brought three other people with us, including one of my boyfriend’s friends, “Daniel.”

So we’re at the bar and the band starts playing. They do kinda suck, I’ll be honest. One of their songs was OK. The next one was horrible. My sister’s beau took the microphone for the next song and started singing a slow version of an old Nirvana song. No one in the audience was paying much attention to the band at that point; we were all drinking and talking among ourselves. And then Daniel decided to yell out - much to my horror - “You guys suck!” Everyone laughed. The band finished with one more song then left. Now my sister is royally pissed because she says I brought the asshole who ruined her boyfriend’s big night. I do feel bad, but I had no way of knowing that he’d heckle the group. Am I in the wrong here?
?— Emo Kills

There’s an old rule of etiquette that holds you accountable for the actions of the guests you brought to a party, but we’re not sure that fully fits here. This was a performance in a public bar, which (presumably) serves alcoholic beverages - and drinking and heckling go hand in hand. If your sister’s beau wants to be a rock star, he obviously needs to grow some balls.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?I have a recurring nightmare about waiting tables in New Orleans. I?got fired and had to go schlep it at a restaurant on Bourbon Street. I?think being six feet below sea level does something to people. Very?bad things went on that I was party to for a little while. I don’t?think that my karma is liable for crimes against humanity committed in?the line of food service. But I thought I’d check with you.
?— Your Waiter?
?PS: “Pennies From Hell” is my piece in the Center For Puppetry Arts’?Experimental Puppetry Theater. This letter to you is the opening. Come?see!

Your dream says, er, wait a second — you’re a puppeteer? Just what is?this, some sneaky attempt at plugging your show here in our column??Why, the nerve! Well, the Karma Cleanser is not your ventriloquist’s?dummy, Missy. No way. Go hype your show in Hollis Gillespie’s column.