Karma Cleanser - July 21 2005

Dear Karma Cleanser:?
About 18 months ago, I met "Kerry" at a friend's going-away party. Since we both were losing a friend, we started meeting for drinks and found that we had a lot in common. He had some great stories. He had been married for years and came out of the closet at 33. He has two adult daughters and is still on good terms with his ex-wife. He also disclosed that he is HIV-positive.

Our friendship was fine until May, when Kerry went into the hospital. I volunteered to bring him personal items from his house and visited him while he was ill. Now he's asking me for more help. I'm driving him to his doctor appointments and also suffered through another hospital stay. His condition is getting worse, but he refuses to call his daughters for help. He says he doesn't want to be a burden, and doesn't want them to know about his HIV.

I was in his house feeding his pets and found his address book with phone numbers for his daughters.

If he gets sick again, I've vowed that I'm going to call them, which is against Kerry's wishes but in his best interest. I'm confessing this now to alleviate any bad karma it might bring later.?
— Nurse Betty

A true friend must sometimes be strong enough to say, "I've had enough and you're being irrational," which is a scary obligation and made much harder when one party is camped out on death's door mat. Your karma should be fine if you tell him the simple truth that you can't help any more until he fills his family in on his condition. If he refuses their assistance, that's his business. Either way, you should stay as far away from the family stuff as possible.

Dear Karma Cleanser: ?
Can video games cause bad karma? I recently went through a pretty?severe break-up with a girl I'd been seeing since the start of the?school year. She and I began on great terms, both of us into the same?games. We would spend hours in my apartment playing "Halo 2." But?after a while I think she started to get bored with our "dates" and?she also resented the fact that I played the game when she wasn't?around. I was a better player by far but I don't think I played?unfairly when she was involved.

There were other problems in the relationship as well, but I ask if?karma is to blame because this is not the first girl who's broken up?with me because of my Xbox addiction. Is there no hope for a guy like?me??
— Joy-less Stick

The Karma Cleanser doesn't like to throw around words like "pathetic" or "clueless" (there's already so much hate in this world) so instead?we'll try to be polite. This chick was obviously into you — not the console — and she just saw "Halo 2" as a way to spend some time together. Step away from the Xbox, call the eXgirlfriend and tell her you're ready to take the relationship to the next level — without digital assistance.