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Arts Agenda - Power surge

Electrical outage doesn't stop bluemilk

With a newly refocused mission, new nonprofit status and a new, deep-pocketed anonymous donor, the guys at bluemilk are generating a lot of energy these days. So much, it seems, that even a little thing like a lack of electricity can't get in the way of their unique artistic vision.

Two weeks ago, an electrical fire outside the Midtown art gallery/creative potpourri pot led to a lingering power outage inside the building. When electricity wasn't restored in time for the Thursday night Acoustic Slam & Jam, bluemilk co-founders Chris Kowalski and Chris Hansen opted to host the event anyway, relying on candlelight in the gallery's back courtyard and borrowing electricity from a neighbor.

This week, bluemilk kicks off a new literary series, a replacement of sorts for its popular Slam City spoken word poetry nights. The Poets & Storytellers Competition sticks to the basic rules of a traditional poetry slam, in which performers are rated by a team of judges picked randomly from the audience. However, the contest takes a more laid-back approach than slams. Performers get to use props, play instruments or wear costumes — basically anything goes, so long as it adds to the narrative.

"We're hoping to generate the kind of vibe that the Yin Yang Cafe had going with their live music/poetry events," Hansen says.

A portion of the money raised at the competition will go to the Dwight E. Humphries Memorial Poetry Prize and will be used to publish a definitive collection of the late Atlanta poet's work.

The Poets & Storytellers Competition takes place April 25 at 8 p.m. at bluemilk, 1123 Spring St. $5. 404-815-6991. www.bluemilk.net.??



More By This Writer

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  string(8087) "DANCING QUEEN: On Ponce de Leon Avenue around 4 a.m., a dispute broke out at Domino’s Pizza. 
A 25-year-old female employee was preparing to close the store for the night, when she noticed two young guys hanging out near the store’s front door. 
The employee said she “pointed to a sign with the store hours” but the two lingering guys didn’t budge. So she walked over and opened the front door to speak to the two guys. The moment the door opened, Suspect #1 (a guy wearing a denim jumpsuit and a colorful scarf) started yelling, “You don’t remember me, bitch!” while squirting pepper spray into the female employee’s face.
Suspect #2 (a chubby guy wearing black biker shorts and a brown Louis Vuitton scarf) started laughing about the employee’s face getting pepper-sprayed. He then “attempted to throw an electronic scooter” at another pizza employee. Moments later, Suspect #1 ran west on Ponce, while Suspect #2 ran east on Ponce.
The pepper-sprayed female employee chased Suspect #2 for a while, finally giving up on Monroe Drive. She started walking back to Domino’s, when she spotted Suspect #1 hanging out at the corner gas station with a lady wearing all black.
The employee said Suspect #1 started taunting her and baiting her into a fight, all while clutching the pepper-spray in his hand.
According to the police report, “She said Suspect #1 sprayed her again and she began to fight him in the street. She said she fell to the ground, and he kept spraying her until her shirt was drenched with the chemical.” Then, the Lady in Black jumped into the fray, hitting the Domino’s employee’s head, while screaming that Suspect #1 was just a teenager.
During the altercation, the female employee dropped and lost her IPhone 7, which was in a lime green case. 
When police arrived, the Domino’s employee explained the strange backstory involving Suspect #1. According to the officer’s notes, “About two or three months ago, Suspect #1 came into the Domino’s store and made a video of himself twerking (a dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance) on Facebook Live. So the female employee refused to serve him, Suspect #1. She said this is the only contact she’s ever had with Suspect #1 and she didn’t even recognize him when she opened the front door this evening. Also, she added, Suspect #1 and #2 appear to be gay men due to their feminine behaviors, and the Lady in Black may be a lesbian based on her “manliness behavior.”
The police officer noted, “The female employee said according to other nearby restaurant managers, Suspect #1 is known for coming into businesses and recording twerking videos of himself.”
CRAPPY BEHAVIOR: Just outside the Atlanta City Public Safety Headquarters on Peachtree Street: Yes, that’s where a man decided to loiter. “The man was lying down on the sidewalk with his feet in the street,” an officer wrote. “He was lying with his head on his book bag and his feet were crossed.” 
Pedestrians had to walk over the man to cross the street. An officer asked him to leave. “I asked the man if he spoke English because he turned his head sideways while I was speaking to him,” the officer noted. 
“I speak Arabic,” the man responded in perfect English. 
The officer detained him, and asked for his name. “I have two names,” the man responded. “My name is on a piece of paper in my bag.” 
Eventually, he revealed his name. “I asked him if I removed the handcuffs, would he leave the area in front of headquarters,” the officer wrote, “He shook his head no.” So the man was arrested and taken into custody. 
One surprise remained: “I inventoried the bags he had with him,” the officer recalled. “One of the bags had feces inside of it.”
STONED SHOPPER’S ETIQUETTE: At the Target store on Piedmont Road, a shopper’s unusual techniques required police intervention. The first sign of trouble: A pair of shoes went missing. Plus, a pair of well-worn shoes was found nearby. A female employee called her manager, and they both started looking for the shoe thief. According to the police report, “They found a man in a red-colored shirt and green pants lying on the floor with no shoes. The man appeared to be intoxicated or under the influence of something. He got up and said he was going to buy some stuff. He grabbed some clothing items and walked to the self-check out area, where he began taking his pants off. He dropped his pants and shoes next to him, as he attempted to check out. (An employee) said the man was at a cash register, attempting to pay with marijuana.” 
Police officers arrived and found the man “talking to himself and staring at the cash register. There was slobber coming from his mouth, as he stood unbalanced, “ an officer noted. “He did admit to taking Xanax.” 
The man’s green pants were still on the floor. Police searched the pants pockets, finding a pill bottle containing “seven hits of ecstasy pills shaped as ghosts.” The man, age 23, went to jail on multiple charges.
WHEN DOVES CRY: A woman said her red wallet was stolen, while her entire family was outside on Greenbriar Parkway releasing doves for a dead family member. The woman said she had to pee right before the dove-releasing portion of the funeral began. So she asked a female friend to hold her purse while she went to the restroom. The friend’s purse-holding skill evaporated entirely just moments later. She got distracted and followed everyone outside to release the doves, leaving the purse on a downstairs table. The woman said her missing red Louis Vuitton wallet contained $150 cash and credit cards.
MISSION BOOM BOOM: In the Custer-McDonough-Guice neighborhood, a cop was patrolling near an apartment complex. Suddenly, he heard a “loud thump” on his police car. “An empty firework shell filled with dirt had been thrown against my vehicle,” he noted. “After briefly looking for suspects, I was unable to find any.”
Five minutes later, BOOM. “Another thump under my patrol car, followed by an immediate large explosion,” the cop noted. “A firework had exploded near the gas tank.” In a bizarre twist, the cop inspected his car — and saw zero signs of physical damage. The only problem: a weird noise. The car was “idling with an unusual vibration.”
Again, the cop searched for fireworks culprits — nothing. So he called for backup. Four police officers, plus a security guard, arrived. Moments later, BOOM. “We heard another firework being shot” from the woods. “I then saw another firework spiraling horizontally toward us from a dirt path shortcut leading to the apartment complex,” the cop noted. “About two seconds later, it exploded between all of us at a very low height. We immediately went to the woodline to search for suspects but were unable to find any.” The cops regrouped for a moment after the search. Another firework zoomed in, leaving a small bruise on one officer’s head. The culprits remain on the loose.
WORST. WANNABE. BURGLARS. EVER: Just north of Centennial Park, a woman heard weird noises coming from her side window. She peered through the blinds, and saw a guy trying to pry open her window.
A 32-year-old man said he witnessed the whole thing — since he was standing outside the apartment entrance on McAfee Street. He saw a young group (definitely under age 21) lingering near the woman’s window. The group consisted of two shirtless young dudes, one female, and a tall guy wearing a neon-yellow traffic vest.
Only one group member was actually trying to pry open the side window: Neon-yellow vest guy, the loudest dresser of the bunch. The rest of them just stood around.
The witness said exactly one word to the group: “Really?”
Moments later, one guy whispered, “It’s just not worth it! ”
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The employee said she “pointed to a sign with the store hours” but the two lingering guys didn’t budge. So she walked over and opened the front door to speak to the two guys. The moment the door opened, Suspect #1 (a guy wearing a denim jumpsuit and a colorful scarf) started yelling, “You don’t remember me, bitch!” while squirting pepper spray into the female employee’s face.
Suspect #2 (a chubby guy wearing black biker shorts and a brown Louis Vuitton scarf) started laughing about the employee’s face getting pepper-sprayed. He then “attempted to throw an electronic scooter” at another pizza employee. Moments later, Suspect #1 ran west on Ponce, while Suspect #2 ran east on Ponce.
The pepper-sprayed female employee chased Suspect #2 for a while, finally giving up on Monroe Drive. She started walking back to Domino’s, when she spotted Suspect #1 hanging out at the corner gas station with a lady wearing all black.
The employee said Suspect #1 started taunting her and baiting her into a fight, all while clutching the pepper-spray in his hand.
According to the police report, “She said Suspect #1 sprayed her again and she began to fight him in the street. She said she fell to the ground, and he kept spraying her until her shirt was drenched with the chemical.” Then, the Lady in Black jumped into the fray, hitting the Domino’s employee’s head, while screaming that Suspect #1 was just a teenager.
During the altercation, the female employee dropped and lost her IPhone 7, which was in a lime green case. 
When police arrived, the Domino’s employee explained the strange backstory involving Suspect #1. According to the officer’s notes, “About two or three months ago, Suspect #1 came into the Domino’s store and made a video of himself twerking (a dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance) on Facebook Live. So the female employee refused to serve him, Suspect #1. She said this is the only contact she’s ever had with Suspect #1 and she didn’t even recognize him when she opened the front door this evening. Also, she added, Suspect #1 and #2 appear to be gay men due to their feminine behaviors, and the Lady in Black may be a lesbian based on her “manliness behavior.”
The police officer noted, “The female employee said according to other nearby restaurant managers, Suspect #1 is known for coming into businesses and recording twerking videos of himself.”
__CRAPPY BEHAVIOR:__ Just outside the Atlanta City Public Safety Headquarters on Peachtree Street: Yes, that’s where a man decided to loiter. “The man was lying down on the sidewalk with his feet in the street,” an officer wrote. “He was lying with his head on his book bag and his feet were crossed.” 
Pedestrians had to walk over the man to cross the street. An officer asked him to leave. “I asked the man if he spoke English because he turned his head sideways while I was speaking to him,” the officer noted. 
“I speak Arabic,” the man responded in perfect English. 
The officer detained him, and asked for his name. “I have two names,” the man responded. “My name is on a piece of paper in my bag.” 
Eventually, he revealed his name. “I asked him if I removed the handcuffs, would he leave the area in front of headquarters,” the officer wrote, “He shook his head no.” So the man was arrested and taken into custody. 
One surprise remained: “I inventoried the bags he had with him,” the officer recalled. “One of the bags had feces inside of it.”
__STONED SHOPPER’S ETIQUETTE:__ At the Target store on Piedmont Road, a shopper’s unusual techniques required police intervention. The first sign of trouble: A pair of shoes went missing. Plus, a pair of well-worn shoes was found nearby. A female employee called her manager, and they both started looking for the shoe thief. According to the police report, “They found a man in a red-colored shirt and green pants lying on the floor with no shoes. The man appeared to be intoxicated or under the influence of something. He got up and said he was going to buy some stuff. He grabbed some clothing items and walked to the self-check out area, where he began taking his pants off. He dropped his pants and shoes next to him, as he attempted to check out. (An employee) said the man was at a cash register, attempting to pay with marijuana.” 
Police officers arrived and found the man “talking to himself and staring at the cash register. There was slobber coming from his mouth, as he stood unbalanced, “ an officer noted. “He did admit to taking Xanax.” 
The man’s green pants were still on the floor. Police searched the pants pockets, finding a pill bottle containing “seven hits of ecstasy pills shaped as ghosts.” The man, age 23, went to jail on multiple charges.
__WHEN DOVES CRY:__ A woman said her red wallet was stolen, while her entire family was outside on Greenbriar Parkway releasing doves for a dead family member. The woman said she had to pee right before the dove-releasing portion of the funeral began. So she asked a female friend to hold her purse while she went to the restroom. The friend’s purse-holding skill evaporated entirely just moments later. She got distracted and followed everyone outside to release the doves, leaving the purse on a downstairs table. The woman said her missing red Louis Vuitton wallet contained $150 cash and credit cards.
__MISSION BOOM BOOM:__ In the Custer-McDonough-Guice neighborhood, a cop was patrolling near an apartment complex. Suddenly, he heard a “loud thump” on his police car. “An empty firework shell filled with dirt had been thrown against my vehicle,” he noted. “After briefly looking for suspects, I was unable to find any.”
Five minutes later, BOOM. “Another thump under my patrol car, followed by an immediate large explosion,” the cop noted. “A firework had exploded near the gas tank.” In a bizarre twist, the cop inspected his car — and saw zero signs of physical damage. The only problem: a weird noise. The car was “idling with an unusual vibration.”
Again, the cop searched for fireworks culprits — nothing. So he called for backup. Four police officers, plus a security guard, arrived. Moments later, BOOM. “We heard another firework being shot” from the woods. “I then saw another firework spiraling horizontally toward us from a dirt path shortcut leading to the apartment complex,” the cop noted. “About two seconds later, it exploded between all of us at a very low height. We immediately went to the woodline to search for suspects but were unable to find any.” The cops regrouped for a moment after the search. Another firework zoomed in, leaving a small bruise on one officer’s head. The culprits remain on the loose.
__WORST. WANNABE. BURGLARS. EVER:__ Just north of Centennial Park, a woman heard weird noises coming from her side window. She peered through the blinds, and saw a guy trying to pry open her window.
A 32-year-old man said he witnessed the whole thing — since he was standing outside the apartment entrance on McAfee Street. He saw a young group (definitely under age 21) lingering near the woman’s window. The group consisted of two shirtless young dudes, one female, and a tall guy wearing a neon-yellow traffic vest.
Only one group member was actually trying to pry open the side window: Neon-yellow vest guy, the loudest dresser of the bunch. The rest of them just stood around.
The witness said exactly one word to the group: “Really?”
Moments later, one guy whispered, “It’s just not worth it! ”
The whole group took off running.

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  string(8494) " Blot0719pizza Final  2019-07-05T14:20:36+00:00 blot0719pizza-final.jpg     And other tales of life in the ATL 20097  2019-07-05T14:14:36+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Twerking videos and pepper spray jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING; ILLUSTRATION BY TRAY BUTLER  2019-07-05T14:14:36+00:00  DANCING QUEEN: On Ponce de Leon Avenue around 4 a.m., a dispute broke out at Domino’s Pizza. 
A 25-year-old female employee was preparing to close the store for the night, when she noticed two young guys hanging out near the store’s front door. 
The employee said she “pointed to a sign with the store hours” but the two lingering guys didn’t budge. So she walked over and opened the front door to speak to the two guys. The moment the door opened, Suspect #1 (a guy wearing a denim jumpsuit and a colorful scarf) started yelling, “You don’t remember me, bitch!” while squirting pepper spray into the female employee’s face.
Suspect #2 (a chubby guy wearing black biker shorts and a brown Louis Vuitton scarf) started laughing about the employee’s face getting pepper-sprayed. He then “attempted to throw an electronic scooter” at another pizza employee. Moments later, Suspect #1 ran west on Ponce, while Suspect #2 ran east on Ponce.
The pepper-sprayed female employee chased Suspect #2 for a while, finally giving up on Monroe Drive. She started walking back to Domino’s, when she spotted Suspect #1 hanging out at the corner gas station with a lady wearing all black.
The employee said Suspect #1 started taunting her and baiting her into a fight, all while clutching the pepper-spray in his hand.
According to the police report, “She said Suspect #1 sprayed her again and she began to fight him in the street. She said she fell to the ground, and he kept spraying her until her shirt was drenched with the chemical.” Then, the Lady in Black jumped into the fray, hitting the Domino’s employee’s head, while screaming that Suspect #1 was just a teenager.
During the altercation, the female employee dropped and lost her IPhone 7, which was in a lime green case. 
When police arrived, the Domino’s employee explained the strange backstory involving Suspect #1. According to the officer’s notes, “About two or three months ago, Suspect #1 came into the Domino’s store and made a video of himself twerking (a dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance) on Facebook Live. So the female employee refused to serve him, Suspect #1. She said this is the only contact she’s ever had with Suspect #1 and she didn’t even recognize him when she opened the front door this evening. Also, she added, Suspect #1 and #2 appear to be gay men due to their feminine behaviors, and the Lady in Black may be a lesbian based on her “manliness behavior.”
The police officer noted, “The female employee said according to other nearby restaurant managers, Suspect #1 is known for coming into businesses and recording twerking videos of himself.”
CRAPPY BEHAVIOR: Just outside the Atlanta City Public Safety Headquarters on Peachtree Street: Yes, that’s where a man decided to loiter. “The man was lying down on the sidewalk with his feet in the street,” an officer wrote. “He was lying with his head on his book bag and his feet were crossed.” 
Pedestrians had to walk over the man to cross the street. An officer asked him to leave. “I asked the man if he spoke English because he turned his head sideways while I was speaking to him,” the officer noted. 
“I speak Arabic,” the man responded in perfect English. 
The officer detained him, and asked for his name. “I have two names,” the man responded. “My name is on a piece of paper in my bag.” 
Eventually, he revealed his name. “I asked him if I removed the handcuffs, would he leave the area in front of headquarters,” the officer wrote, “He shook his head no.” So the man was arrested and taken into custody. 
One surprise remained: “I inventoried the bags he had with him,” the officer recalled. “One of the bags had feces inside of it.”
STONED SHOPPER’S ETIQUETTE: At the Target store on Piedmont Road, a shopper’s unusual techniques required police intervention. The first sign of trouble: A pair of shoes went missing. Plus, a pair of well-worn shoes was found nearby. A female employee called her manager, and they both started looking for the shoe thief. According to the police report, “They found a man in a red-colored shirt and green pants lying on the floor with no shoes. The man appeared to be intoxicated or under the influence of something. He got up and said he was going to buy some stuff. He grabbed some clothing items and walked to the self-check out area, where he began taking his pants off. He dropped his pants and shoes next to him, as he attempted to check out. (An employee) said the man was at a cash register, attempting to pay with marijuana.” 
Police officers arrived and found the man “talking to himself and staring at the cash register. There was slobber coming from his mouth, as he stood unbalanced, “ an officer noted. “He did admit to taking Xanax.” 
The man’s green pants were still on the floor. Police searched the pants pockets, finding a pill bottle containing “seven hits of ecstasy pills shaped as ghosts.” The man, age 23, went to jail on multiple charges.
WHEN DOVES CRY: A woman said her red wallet was stolen, while her entire family was outside on Greenbriar Parkway releasing doves for a dead family member. The woman said she had to pee right before the dove-releasing portion of the funeral began. So she asked a female friend to hold her purse while she went to the restroom. The friend’s purse-holding skill evaporated entirely just moments later. She got distracted and followed everyone outside to release the doves, leaving the purse on a downstairs table. The woman said her missing red Louis Vuitton wallet contained $150 cash and credit cards.
MISSION BOOM BOOM: In the Custer-McDonough-Guice neighborhood, a cop was patrolling near an apartment complex. Suddenly, he heard a “loud thump” on his police car. “An empty firework shell filled with dirt had been thrown against my vehicle,” he noted. “After briefly looking for suspects, I was unable to find any.”
Five minutes later, BOOM. “Another thump under my patrol car, followed by an immediate large explosion,” the cop noted. “A firework had exploded near the gas tank.” In a bizarre twist, the cop inspected his car — and saw zero signs of physical damage. The only problem: a weird noise. The car was “idling with an unusual vibration.”
Again, the cop searched for fireworks culprits — nothing. So he called for backup. Four police officers, plus a security guard, arrived. Moments later, BOOM. “We heard another firework being shot” from the woods. “I then saw another firework spiraling horizontally toward us from a dirt path shortcut leading to the apartment complex,” the cop noted. “About two seconds later, it exploded between all of us at a very low height. We immediately went to the woodline to search for suspects but were unable to find any.” The cops regrouped for a moment after the search. Another firework zoomed in, leaving a small bruise on one officer’s head. The culprits remain on the loose.
WORST. WANNABE. BURGLARS. EVER: Just north of Centennial Park, a woman heard weird noises coming from her side window. She peered through the blinds, and saw a guy trying to pry open her window.
A 32-year-old man said he witnessed the whole thing — since he was standing outside the apartment entrance on McAfee Street. He saw a young group (definitely under age 21) lingering near the woman’s window. The group consisted of two shirtless young dudes, one female, and a tall guy wearing a neon-yellow traffic vest.
Only one group member was actually trying to pry open the side window: Neon-yellow vest guy, the loudest dresser of the bunch. The rest of them just stood around.
The witness said exactly one word to the group: “Really?”
Moments later, one guy whispered, “It’s just not worth it! ”
The whole group took off running.

The Blotter Diva compiles reports from Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.    TRAY BUTLER   0,0,11                                 THE BLOTTER: Twerking videos and pepper spray "
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Article

Friday July 5, 2019 10:14 am EDT
And other tales of life in the ATL | more...
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  string(50) " THE BLOTTER: 'Beyonce’ in a pink lace nightgown"
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BABY, I’M A STAR: Police responded to a ruckus on Metropolitan Parkway during rush hour. “We observed an apparent black transgender female dressed in a pink lace nightgown, lying down on a blanket on the sidewalk.” The lead officer asked for her ID. She just stared and gave him the silent treatment. ”The individual acted as if I was not there and continued to ignore me,” the officer wrote.

He tried again. “Can you hear me?

More silence.

Perhaps she wanted a bigger audience. When backup police officers arrived, she perked up and got chatty, introducing herself as one of the most famous women on the planet: “She identified herself as Beyonce Knowles-Carter and it became immediately clear that she was having difficulties with reality,” according to the report.

Beyonce in a pink nightgown was posing on a black blanket.

“Ms. Knowles-Carter said multiple times that this was her home (indicating the sidewalk) and she wasn’t going to leave,” an officer noted. “She then looked at me and said, ‘I’m going to beat your ass,’ before stepping into heavy traffic and crossing the street.”

Police promptly arrested the 31-year-old wannabe Beyonce and took her to jail. “We attempted to use the fingerprint scanner to determine Ms. Knowles-Carter’s actual name, however we were unable to do so due to technical difficulties,” an officer noted. So she’s just “Beyonce” in the police report. And that probably makes her happy.

SPECIAL SAUCE: At a strip mall just outside I-285, a bartender got in trouble at a chain restaurant known for making every day like Friday.

A police sergeant witnessed the bartender “take a mixing cup from the bar — and proceed to pull his penis out and urinate into the mixing cup.” How old is this bartender? Oh, he’s a 40-year-old man. He went to jail on public indecency charges.

FREE $$ SPARKS OUTRAGE: In Candler Park, a dispute erupted inside a market on McLendon Avenue — and an older male customer called police for help. An officer arrived and asked: What happened?

The 68-year-old customer said a female employee had started following him around the market. “(He) felt harassed because she continued to follow him around the store and then out to his vehicle, where she then offered him a $25 gift certificate,” an officer noted.

Another guy said he saw the whole thing go down and “felt as if she was trying to bribe the older man with the $25 gift certificate,” the officer noted. Both men “were very adamant about having a police report done due to feeling harassed.”

The female employee says the Witness Guy “became angry” and “began yelling” at her in the parking lot, causing a disturbance. No charges filed.

BEAT IT: A man with a swollen cheek and neck was sitting outside an abandoned, half-burned building on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard. A police officer asked him what business he had on the vacant property — and to please identify himself.

The man replied: My name is Michael Jackson. (No, it’s not). He gave a fake date of birth, too.

Eventually, the man admitted he wasn’t Michael Jackson and said he gave a false name because he thought he was a wanted man. The officer promptly arrested him for false representation.

SOME LIKE IT HOT: In Cascade Park Nature Preserve, a large fire broke out with flames  “spreading very fast in the woods.” Two young women, ages 18 and 23, admitted to starting the fire and led police to their special forest spot. “They advised us they were looking for a place in the woods to study and to look at the sky, and started a small fire which they lost control of very quickly,” an officer noted. Now the two women are banned from “any and all” Atlanta city parks for one year.

PLEASED TO MEAT YOU: In Adair Park, a woman said she took a nap and then started cooking dinner in her home on McDaniel Street. “She opened the refrigerator, and noticed all her groceries were gone,” an officer noted. Missing items included chicken, fish, steak, and roast — and her gold diamond ring. She called police, who found absolutely no signs of forced entry; her security alarm didn’t go off.

The officer had doubts about the woman’s story … and her mental state. During the interview, she repeatedly lost track of her eyeglasses — which were in plain view the whole time.

POOP PROBLEMS: Police got a call about a man in a blue shirt, wielding an axe on the BeltLine. Officers scoured the area, but didn’t see anyone with a hatchet. Eventually, they found the 48-year-old suspect in a parking lot near Monroe Drive and 10 Street. The suspect claimed he did nothing wrong “except yell and cuss” at the victim, an older woman walking her dog on the BeltLine.

The woman, age 68, says she was cleaning up her dog’s poop, when suddenly the suspect came out of the woods and started chasing her, yelling, “Get the hell out of here with your damn dog!”

Police found a black hatchet in the man’s book bag. “He claims he only uses it to chop wood in the woods where he stays,” an officer noted. The man went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

THE BIG SHORT: In Buckhead, a man called police about a letter found at an empty furniture store on East Paces Ferry Road that he had recently sold to a corporation. The letter writer: a 37-year-old male worker apparently upset about the corporation’s plans to liquidate the biz.

In the note, the employee explained why he stole $24,000 worth of furniture on display for liquidation — even listing all 12 pieces of furniture that he swiped. By the time his former boss found the note, read it, and called police, the employee’s phone number had already been disconnected. He’s gone.

THE EX-FILES: In Northwest Atlanta, a man left the home he owns on Allegro Drive, due to his recent roommate’s “dangerously erratic behavior.” He said his ex-roommate had “started referring to himself as other people and kept pulling out a handgun,” an officer noted. The man called 911 after seeing a Facebook live video of his ex-roommate walking inside his home, and referring to himself as “either the musician Nipsey Hussle or (the man’s) brother, both of whom are deceased,” the officer noted. In the video, the ex-roommate walks round the home, showcasing multiple bullet holes and ammunition he’d fired into a wall near the front door.

Police went to the man’s home on Allegro Drive; the ex-roommate had jammed the doors to prevent entry. They found the ex-roommate clutching a handgun and wandering around on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. “He was still clearly delusional, claiming to be other people and saying he was famous,” an officer noted. He was committed for a psychological evaluation.

JUST PLAIN BOLD: A police officer was doing paperwork while sitting in his patrol car on Peachtree Street. Suddenly, a man in a black shirt and blue jeans ran up. The man “yelled ‘FUCK YOU’ while displaying two middle fingers in my direction,” the officer recalled. “I told him to get out of the parking lot. The man continued to yell at me, then suddenly he ran to the rear of the patrol car and began kicking.”

Next, the man grabbed a water bottle from the ground, smashing it into the patrol car. The cop got out of his patrol car, called for backup, and ordered the suspect to lie down on his stomach. “His eyes were bloodshot and he began acting as if he knew me,” the officer recalled “But I’ve never seen this man before.” The suspect, age 39, was charged with simple assault.

The Blotter Diva compiles her reports based on cases from the Atlanta Police Department.

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__BABY, I’M A STAR:__ Police responded to a ruckus on Metropolitan Parkway during rush hour. “We observed an apparent black transgender female dressed in a pink lace nightgown, lying down on a blanket on the sidewalk.” The lead officer asked for her ID. She just stared and gave him the silent treatment. ”The individual acted as if I was not there and continued to ignore me,” the officer wrote.

He tried again. “Can you hear me?

More silence.

Perhaps she wanted a bigger audience. When backup police officers arrived, she perked up and got chatty, introducing herself as one of the most famous women on the planet: “She identified herself as Beyonce Knowles-Carter and it became immediately clear that she was having difficulties with reality,” according to the report.

Beyonce in a pink nightgown was posing on a black blanket.

“Ms. Knowles-Carter said multiple times that this was her home (indicating the sidewalk) and she wasn’t going to leave,” an officer noted. “She then looked at me and said, ‘I’m going to beat your ass,’ before stepping into heavy traffic and crossing the street.”

Police promptly arrested the 31-year-old wannabe Beyonce and took her to jail. “We attempted to use the fingerprint scanner to determine Ms. Knowles-Carter’s actual name, however we were unable to do so due to technical difficulties,” an officer noted. So she’s just “Beyonce” in the police report. And that probably makes her happy.

__SPECIAL SAUCE:__ At a strip mall just outside I-285, a bartender got in trouble at a chain restaurant known for making every day like Friday.

A police sergeant witnessed the bartender “take a mixing cup from the bar — and proceed to pull his penis out and urinate into the mixing cup.” How old is this bartender? Oh, he’s a 40-year-old man. He went to jail on public indecency charges.

__FREE $$ SPARKS OUTRAGE:__ In Candler Park, a dispute erupted inside a market on McLendon Avenue — and an older male customer called police for help. An officer arrived and asked: What happened?

The 68-year-old customer said a female employee had started following him around the market. “(He) felt harassed because she continued to follow him around the store and then out to his vehicle, where she then offered him a $25 gift certificate,” an officer noted.

Another guy said he saw the whole thing go down and “felt as if she was trying to bribe the older man with the $25 gift certificate,” the officer noted. Both men “were very adamant about having a police report done due to feeling harassed.”

The female employee says the Witness Guy “became angry” and “began yelling” at her in the parking lot, causing a disturbance. No charges filed.

__BEAT IT:__ A man with a swollen cheek and neck was sitting outside an abandoned, half-burned building on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard. A police officer asked him what business he had on the vacant property — and to please identify himself.

The man replied: My name is Michael Jackson. (No, it’s not). He gave a fake date of birth, too.

Eventually, the man admitted he wasn’t Michael Jackson and said he gave a false name because he thought he was a wanted man. The officer promptly arrested him for false representation.

__SOME LIKE IT HOT:__ In Cascade Park Nature Preserve, a large fire broke out with flames  “spreading very fast in the woods.” Two young women, ages 18 and 23, admitted to starting the fire and led police to their special forest spot. “They advised us they were looking for a place in the woods to study and to look at the sky, and started a small fire which they lost control of very quickly,” an officer noted. Now the two women are banned from “any and all” Atlanta city parks for one year.

__PLEASED TO MEAT YOU:__ In Adair Park, a woman said she took a nap and then started cooking dinner in her home on McDaniel Street. “She opened the refrigerator, and noticed all her groceries were gone,” an officer noted. Missing items included chicken, fish, steak, and roast — and her gold diamond ring. She called police, who found absolutely no signs of forced entry; her security alarm didn’t go off.

The officer had doubts about the woman’s story … and her mental state. During the interview, she repeatedly lost track of her eyeglasses — which were in plain view the whole time.

__POOP PROBLEMS:__ Police got a call about a man in a blue shirt, wielding an axe on the BeltLine. Officers scoured the area, but didn’t see anyone with a hatchet. Eventually, they found the 48-year-old suspect in a parking lot near Monroe Drive and 10{SUP()}th{SUP} Street. The suspect claimed he did nothing wrong “except yell and cuss” at the victim, an older woman walking her dog on the BeltLine.

The woman, age 68, says she was cleaning up her dog’s poop, when suddenly the suspect came out of the woods and started chasing her, yelling, “Get the hell out of here with your damn dog!”

Police found a black hatchet in the man’s book bag. “He claims he only uses it to chop wood in the woods where he stays,” an officer noted. The man went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

__THE BIG SHORT:__ In Buckhead, a man called police about a letter found at an empty furniture store on East Paces Ferry Road that he had recently sold to a corporation. The letter writer: a 37-year-old male worker apparently upset about the corporation’s plans to liquidate the biz.

In the note, the employee explained why he stole $24,000 worth of furniture on display for liquidation — even listing all 12 pieces of furniture that he swiped. By the time his former boss found the note, read it, and called police, the employee’s phone number had already been disconnected. He’s gone.

__THE EX-FILES:__ In Northwest Atlanta, a man left the home he owns on Allegro Drive, due to his recent roommate’s “dangerously erratic behavior.” He said his ex-roommate had “started referring to himself as other people and kept pulling out a handgun,” an officer noted. The man called 911 after seeing a Facebook live video of his ex-roommate walking inside his home, and referring to himself as “either the musician Nipsey Hussle or (the man’s) brother, both of whom are deceased,” the officer noted. In the video, the ex-roommate walks round the home, showcasing multiple bullet holes and ammunition he’d fired into a wall near the front door.

Police went to the man’s home on Allegro Drive; the ex-roommate had jammed the doors to prevent entry. They found the ex-roommate clutching a handgun and wandering around on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. “He was still clearly delusional, claiming to be other people and saying he was famous,” an officer noted. He was committed for a psychological evaluation.

__JUST PLAIN BOLD:__ A police officer was doing paperwork while sitting in his patrol car on Peachtree Street. Suddenly, a man in a black shirt and blue jeans ran up. The man “yelled ‘FUCK YOU’ while displaying two middle fingers in my direction,” the officer recalled. “I told him to get out of the parking lot. The man continued to yell at me, then suddenly he ran to the rear of the patrol car and began kicking.”

Next, the man grabbed a water bottle from the ground, smashing it into the patrol car. The cop got out of his patrol car, called for backup, and ordered the suspect to lie down on his stomach. “His eyes were bloodshot and he began acting as if he knew me,” the officer recalled “But I’ve never seen this man before.” The suspect, age 39, was charged with simple assault.

''The Blotter Diva compiles her reports based on cases from the Atlanta Police Department.''

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BABY, I’M A STAR: Police responded to a ruckus on Metropolitan Parkway during rush hour. “We observed an apparent black transgender female dressed in a pink lace nightgown, lying down on a blanket on the sidewalk.” The lead officer asked for her ID. She just stared and gave him the silent treatment. ”The individual acted as if I was not there and continued to ignore me,” the officer wrote.

He tried again. “Can you hear me?

More silence.

Perhaps she wanted a bigger audience. When backup police officers arrived, she perked up and got chatty, introducing herself as one of the most famous women on the planet: “She identified herself as Beyonce Knowles-Carter and it became immediately clear that she was having difficulties with reality,” according to the report.

Beyonce in a pink nightgown was posing on a black blanket.

“Ms. Knowles-Carter said multiple times that this was her home (indicating the sidewalk) and she wasn’t going to leave,” an officer noted. “She then looked at me and said, ‘I’m going to beat your ass,’ before stepping into heavy traffic and crossing the street.”

Police promptly arrested the 31-year-old wannabe Beyonce and took her to jail. “We attempted to use the fingerprint scanner to determine Ms. Knowles-Carter’s actual name, however we were unable to do so due to technical difficulties,” an officer noted. So she’s just “Beyonce” in the police report. And that probably makes her happy.

SPECIAL SAUCE: At a strip mall just outside I-285, a bartender got in trouble at a chain restaurant known for making every day like Friday.

A police sergeant witnessed the bartender “take a mixing cup from the bar — and proceed to pull his penis out and urinate into the mixing cup.” How old is this bartender? Oh, he’s a 40-year-old man. He went to jail on public indecency charges.

FREE $$ SPARKS OUTRAGE: In Candler Park, a dispute erupted inside a market on McLendon Avenue — and an older male customer called police for help. An officer arrived and asked: What happened?

The 68-year-old customer said a female employee had started following him around the market. “(He) felt harassed because she continued to follow him around the store and then out to his vehicle, where she then offered him a $25 gift certificate,” an officer noted.

Another guy said he saw the whole thing go down and “felt as if she was trying to bribe the older man with the $25 gift certificate,” the officer noted. Both men “were very adamant about having a police report done due to feeling harassed.”

The female employee says the Witness Guy “became angry” and “began yelling” at her in the parking lot, causing a disturbance. No charges filed.

BEAT IT: A man with a swollen cheek and neck was sitting outside an abandoned, half-burned building on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard. A police officer asked him what business he had on the vacant property — and to please identify himself.

The man replied: My name is Michael Jackson. (No, it’s not). He gave a fake date of birth, too.

Eventually, the man admitted he wasn’t Michael Jackson and said he gave a false name because he thought he was a wanted man. The officer promptly arrested him for false representation.

SOME LIKE IT HOT: In Cascade Park Nature Preserve, a large fire broke out with flames  “spreading very fast in the woods.” Two young women, ages 18 and 23, admitted to starting the fire and led police to their special forest spot. “They advised us they were looking for a place in the woods to study and to look at the sky, and started a small fire which they lost control of very quickly,” an officer noted. Now the two women are banned from “any and all” Atlanta city parks for one year.

PLEASED TO MEAT YOU: In Adair Park, a woman said she took a nap and then started cooking dinner in her home on McDaniel Street. “She opened the refrigerator, and noticed all her groceries were gone,” an officer noted. Missing items included chicken, fish, steak, and roast — and her gold diamond ring. She called police, who found absolutely no signs of forced entry; her security alarm didn’t go off.

The officer had doubts about the woman’s story … and her mental state. During the interview, she repeatedly lost track of her eyeglasses — which were in plain view the whole time.

POOP PROBLEMS: Police got a call about a man in a blue shirt, wielding an axe on the BeltLine. Officers scoured the area, but didn’t see anyone with a hatchet. Eventually, they found the 48-year-old suspect in a parking lot near Monroe Drive and 10 Street. The suspect claimed he did nothing wrong “except yell and cuss” at the victim, an older woman walking her dog on the BeltLine.

The woman, age 68, says she was cleaning up her dog’s poop, when suddenly the suspect came out of the woods and started chasing her, yelling, “Get the hell out of here with your damn dog!”

Police found a black hatchet in the man’s book bag. “He claims he only uses it to chop wood in the woods where he stays,” an officer noted. The man went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

THE BIG SHORT: In Buckhead, a man called police about a letter found at an empty furniture store on East Paces Ferry Road that he had recently sold to a corporation. The letter writer: a 37-year-old male worker apparently upset about the corporation’s plans to liquidate the biz.

In the note, the employee explained why he stole $24,000 worth of furniture on display for liquidation — even listing all 12 pieces of furniture that he swiped. By the time his former boss found the note, read it, and called police, the employee’s phone number had already been disconnected. He’s gone.

THE EX-FILES: In Northwest Atlanta, a man left the home he owns on Allegro Drive, due to his recent roommate’s “dangerously erratic behavior.” He said his ex-roommate had “started referring to himself as other people and kept pulling out a handgun,” an officer noted. The man called 911 after seeing a Facebook live video of his ex-roommate walking inside his home, and referring to himself as “either the musician Nipsey Hussle or (the man’s) brother, both of whom are deceased,” the officer noted. In the video, the ex-roommate walks round the home, showcasing multiple bullet holes and ammunition he’d fired into a wall near the front door.

Police went to the man’s home on Allegro Drive; the ex-roommate had jammed the doors to prevent entry. They found the ex-roommate clutching a handgun and wandering around on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. “He was still clearly delusional, claiming to be other people and saying he was famous,” an officer noted. He was committed for a psychological evaluation.

JUST PLAIN BOLD: A police officer was doing paperwork while sitting in his patrol car on Peachtree Street. Suddenly, a man in a black shirt and blue jeans ran up. The man “yelled ‘FUCK YOU’ while displaying two middle fingers in my direction,” the officer recalled. “I told him to get out of the parking lot. The man continued to yell at me, then suddenly he ran to the rear of the patrol car and began kicking.”

Next, the man grabbed a water bottle from the ground, smashing it into the patrol car. The cop got out of his patrol car, called for backup, and ordered the suspect to lie down on his stomach. “His eyes were bloodshot and he began acting as if he knew me,” the officer recalled “But I’ve never seen this man before.” The suspect, age 39, was charged with simple assault.

The Blotter Diva compiles her reports based on cases from the Atlanta Police Department.

    TRAY BUTLER   0,0,10                                  THE BLOTTER: 'Beyonce’ in a pink lace nightgown "
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Friday May 3, 2019 12:11 pm EDT
And other tales of life in the ATL | more...
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  string(2833) "Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
I have been having an ongoing dispute with one of my neighbors for months now, and I need some advice on how to end it. This woman is probably 80 years old, and she has lived in our neighborhood for decades. She has watched the area go through many transitions, and the neighborhood is changing again as folks like myself buy up formerly run-down houses to remodel them. Five houses on our street have sold in the past year, and almost all of the new owners want to rid the area of the hobos and crack addicts that still stalk our streets after dark.

??
My elderly neighbor was nice to me at first. Then, for no apparent reason, she decided not to like me. She complained about the new dog fence in my back yard and left a note in my mailbox saying that she would call the cops if my guests parked on the street in front of her house. Someone threw a brick through one of my home's windows while I was at work. I don't know for sure that my neighbor had anything to do with it, but it was on the side of the house that faces hers. Later, someone stole my Weedwacker from behind my house – and then used it to slice through a bundle of wires going into my basement.

??
I can't help but think my neighbor was somehow involved. I feel like I've done a lot to build good karma in the neighborhood, so I don't understand why so much bad karma is coming my way.

??
– – Dream House or Nightmare?

??
We receive a fair number of letters here at Karma Central from folks coping with the unwanted consequences of moving into a transitioning neighborhood. These pioneers often wonder why they're being punished with bad things befalling their fixer-uppers, but we prefer to see the equation differently. To willfully move into an area undergoing rapid change – racial, social, spiritual, whatever – is to invite volatility into your life. As the neighborhood changes, so will you, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Be careful not to convict your surly old neighbor of crimes you didn't see her commit. Even with age, wisdom does not always come, and consider how jarring it must be for her to watch her once-familiar world morph into something new entirely. Your only weapon is kindness.

??
Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
In response to "Ditched, Not Hitched," the woman whose friend "Katey" gave her the unwanted update on how great her ex-boyfriend is doing: I don't think the problem here is the boyfriend at all. The problem is Katey, who sounds like exactly the type of friend who lives to share devastating news and then play shoulder for crying on.

??
"Not Hitched" needs to learn and "ditch" her big-mouthed friend before it happens again.

??
– – Papa Knows Best

??
Don't kill the messenger! Well, maybe just rough her up a little and see what happens.

??
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com"
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  string(2894) "__Dear Karma Cleanser:__

??
I have been having an ongoing dispute with one of my neighbors for months now, and I need some advice on how to end it. This woman is probably 80 years old, and she has lived in our neighborhood for decades. She has watched the area go through many transitions, and the neighborhood is changing again as folks like myself buy up formerly run-down houses to remodel them. Five houses on our street have sold in the past year, and almost all of the new owners want to rid the area of the hobos and crack addicts that still stalk our streets after dark.

??
My elderly neighbor was nice to me at first. Then, for no apparent reason, she decided not to like me. She complained about the new dog fence in my back yard and left a note in my mailbox saying that she would call the cops if my guests parked on the street in front of her house. Someone threw a brick through one of my home's windows while I was at work. I don't know for sure that my neighbor had anything to do with it, but it was on the side of the house that faces hers. Later, someone stole my Weedwacker from behind my house – and then used it to slice through a bundle of wires going into my basement.

??
I can't help but think my neighbor was somehow involved. I feel like I've done a lot to build good karma in the neighborhood, so I don't understand why so much bad karma is coming my way.

??
– ''– Dream House or Nightmare?''

??
''We receive a fair number of letters here at Karma Central from folks coping with the unwanted consequences of moving into a transitioning neighborhood. These pioneers often wonder why they're being punished with bad things befalling their fixer-uppers, but we prefer to see the equation differently. To willfully move into an area undergoing rapid change – racial, social, spiritual, whatever – is to invite volatility into your life. As the neighborhood changes, so will you, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Be careful not to convict your surly old neighbor of crimes you didn't see her commit. Even with age, wisdom does not always come, and consider how jarring it must be for her to watch her once-familiar world morph into something new entirely. Your only weapon is kindness.''

??
__Dear Karma Cleanser:__

??
In response to "Ditched, Not Hitched," the woman whose friend "Katey" gave her the unwanted update on how great her ex-boyfriend is doing: I don't think the problem here is the boyfriend at all. The problem is Katey, who sounds like exactly the type of friend who lives to share devastating news and then play shoulder for crying on.

??
"Not Hitched" needs to learn and "ditch" her big-mouthed friend before it happens again.

??
– ''– Papa Knows Best''

??
''Don't kill the messenger! Well, maybe just rough her up a little and see what happens.''

??
''Been bad? [mailto:karmacleanser@gmail.com|karmacleanser@gmail.com]''"
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??
I have been having an ongoing dispute with one of my neighbors for months now, and I need some advice on how to end it. This woman is probably 80 years old, and she has lived in our neighborhood for decades. She has watched the area go through many transitions, and the neighborhood is changing again as folks like myself buy up formerly run-down houses to remodel them. Five houses on our street have sold in the past year, and almost all of the new owners want to rid the area of the hobos and crack addicts that still stalk our streets after dark.

??
My elderly neighbor was nice to me at first. Then, for no apparent reason, she decided not to like me. She complained about the new dog fence in my back yard and left a note in my mailbox saying that she would call the cops if my guests parked on the street in front of her house. Someone threw a brick through one of my home's windows while I was at work. I don't know for sure that my neighbor had anything to do with it, but it was on the side of the house that faces hers. Later, someone stole my Weedwacker from behind my house – and then used it to slice through a bundle of wires going into my basement.

??
I can't help but think my neighbor was somehow involved. I feel like I've done a lot to build good karma in the neighborhood, so I don't understand why so much bad karma is coming my way.

??
– – Dream House or Nightmare?

??
We receive a fair number of letters here at Karma Central from folks coping with the unwanted consequences of moving into a transitioning neighborhood. These pioneers often wonder why they're being punished with bad things befalling their fixer-uppers, but we prefer to see the equation differently. To willfully move into an area undergoing rapid change – racial, social, spiritual, whatever – is to invite volatility into your life. As the neighborhood changes, so will you, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Be careful not to convict your surly old neighbor of crimes you didn't see her commit. Even with age, wisdom does not always come, and consider how jarring it must be for her to watch her once-familiar world morph into something new entirely. Your only weapon is kindness.

??
Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
In response to "Ditched, Not Hitched," the woman whose friend "Katey" gave her the unwanted update on how great her ex-boyfriend is doing: I don't think the problem here is the boyfriend at all. The problem is Katey, who sounds like exactly the type of friend who lives to share devastating news and then play shoulder for crying on.

??
"Not Hitched" needs to learn and "ditch" her big-mouthed friend before it happens again.

??
– – Papa Knows Best

??
Don't kill the messenger! Well, maybe just rough her up a little and see what happens.

??
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com             13025628 1269754                          Karma Cleanser - Kill 'em with kindness "
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Wednesday September 26, 2007 12:04 am EDT
Karma Cleanser: Will it come back to bite you? | more...
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  string(2529) "Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
Am I a hypocrite? Seven months ago, I met a man on a blind date that my friend had set me up on. I found him to be shy at first, but as I got to know him better I saw that he was really a person that I wanted to spend time with. We both fell head over heels and started staying up late talking to each other on the phone like high-school sweethearts. I had not experienced this kind of connection with a person in well over a decade.

??
As I got to know him better, he began to open up to me in a way that he's never opened up to anyone before. I'd like to say that I did the same thing, but I did not. I know that I held a lot of my "baggage" back because I did not want to scare him off. He told me more and more about his troubled teen years and I began to see that he had a lot of big issues. It made me feel sorry for him and want to help him heal, although I knew from previous relationships that I could not "fix" him. After four months of dating, we moved in together. The relationship is continuing to grow with only a few growing pains. He has told me more about his childhood, and I've tried to be a good listener, but I also feel bad because I am holding back a lot from him.

??
Recently, he asked me if I thought he should talk to a therapist. This is why I feel like a hypocrite. I told him I thought that therapy would be a very good option for him. I did not tell him about my own truly horrific experience in therapy when I was in my early 20s, which is one of the many "skeletons" in my own closet that I do not feel comfortable talking to him about.

??
I am terrified that I am giving him bad advice by telling him to seek therapy, knowing how bad it turned out for me. I also know that he truly needs some counseling and that I can't pretend to be his therapist much longer. Is my karma in trouble for giving advice that I don't really believe to someone I love?

??
You're only a hypocrite if you keep your vow of silence and don't let this guy know what's really going on in your thoughts. It seems wildly selfish for you to soak up his self-revelations without offering any of your own in return. There's also something telling in the way you describe your relationship as a return to your high-school self – the time before you made enemies of honesty and disclosure. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, even if it's not always what we want. If your man does start therapy, maybe you should make it an appointment for two.

??
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com"
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  string(2574) "__Dear Karma Cleanser:__

??
Am I a hypocrite? Seven months ago, I met a man on a blind date that my friend had set me up on. I found him to be shy at first, but as I got to know him better I saw that he was really a person that I wanted to spend time with. We both fell head over heels and started staying up late talking to each other on the phone like high-school sweethearts. I had not experienced this kind of connection with a person in well over a decade.

??
As I got to know him better, he began to open up to me in a way that he's never opened up to anyone before. I'd like to say that I did the same thing, but I did not. I know that I held a lot of my "baggage" back because I did not want to scare him off. He told me more and more about his troubled teen years and I began to see that he had a lot of big issues. It made me feel sorry for him and want to help him heal, although I knew from previous relationships that I could not "fix" him. After four months of dating, we moved in together. The relationship is continuing to grow with only a few growing pains. He has told me more about his childhood, and I've tried to be a good listener, but I also feel bad because I am holding back a lot from him.

??
Recently, he asked me if I thought he should talk to a therapist. This is why I feel like a hypocrite. I told him I thought that therapy would be a very good option for him. I did not tell him about my own truly horrific experience in therapy when I was in my early 20s, which is one of the many "skeletons" in my own closet that I do not feel comfortable talking to him about.

??
I am terrified that I am giving him bad advice by telling him to seek therapy, knowing how bad it turned out for me. I also know that he truly needs some counseling and that I can't pretend to be his therapist much longer. Is my karma in trouble for giving advice that I don't really believe to someone I love?

??
''You're only a hypocrite if you keep your vow of silence and don't let this guy know what's really going on in your thoughts. It seems wildly selfish for you to soak up his self-revelations without offering any of your own in return. There's also something telling in the way you describe your relationship as a return to your high-school self – the time before you made enemies of honesty and disclosure. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, even if it's not always what we want. If your man does start therapy, maybe you should make it an appointment for two.''

??
''Been bad? [mailto:karmacleanser@gmail.com|karmacleanser@gmail.com]''"
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??
Am I a hypocrite? Seven months ago, I met a man on a blind date that my friend had set me up on. I found him to be shy at first, but as I got to know him better I saw that he was really a person that I wanted to spend time with. We both fell head over heels and started staying up late talking to each other on the phone like high-school sweethearts. I had not experienced this kind of connection with a person in well over a decade.

??
As I got to know him better, he began to open up to me in a way that he's never opened up to anyone before. I'd like to say that I did the same thing, but I did not. I know that I held a lot of my "baggage" back because I did not want to scare him off. He told me more and more about his troubled teen years and I began to see that he had a lot of big issues. It made me feel sorry for him and want to help him heal, although I knew from previous relationships that I could not "fix" him. After four months of dating, we moved in together. The relationship is continuing to grow with only a few growing pains. He has told me more about his childhood, and I've tried to be a good listener, but I also feel bad because I am holding back a lot from him.

??
Recently, he asked me if I thought he should talk to a therapist. This is why I feel like a hypocrite. I told him I thought that therapy would be a very good option for him. I did not tell him about my own truly horrific experience in therapy when I was in my early 20s, which is one of the many "skeletons" in my own closet that I do not feel comfortable talking to him about.

??
I am terrified that I am giving him bad advice by telling him to seek therapy, knowing how bad it turned out for me. I also know that he truly needs some counseling and that I can't pretend to be his therapist much longer. Is my karma in trouble for giving advice that I don't really believe to someone I love?

??
You're only a hypocrite if you keep your vow of silence and don't let this guy know what's really going on in your thoughts. It seems wildly selfish for you to soak up his self-revelations without offering any of your own in return. There's also something telling in the way you describe your relationship as a return to your high-school self – the time before you made enemies of honesty and disclosure. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, even if it's not always what we want. If your man does start therapy, maybe you should make it an appointment for two.

??
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com             13025574 1269644                          Karma Cleanser - September 19 2007  "
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Article

Wednesday September 19, 2007 12:04 am EDT
Am I a hypocrite for giving advice I don't believe? | more...
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  string(43) "Karma Cleanser - Bad morning or bad parent?"
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  string(2615) "Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
For five or six months, I have been planning a trip with a group of three friends. As the date of our trip approached, I began to realize that we all saw the vacation in a different light. I wanted a nice and relaxing week at the beach, with no cell phone and no schedule. Another guy going on the trip, a friend who drinks gin-and-tonics for breakfast, wanted this to be a week of partying and barhopping. And the other two wanted us to spend our week doing architectural tours, stuff that doesn't interest me in the least.

??
I had paid for our hotel room on my credit card, and my friends had planned to pay me back once we arrived there. But two weeks before the trip, I fell down at my office and injured my ankle.

??
I want to know if this was karma punishing me for not looking forward to my vacation. Also, how can I get the other three to pay me back for the room now that I'm not going on the trip anymore?

??
– – Twisted Sister

??
Punishing you? Sounds to us like karma was helping you get out of what was shaping up to be a truly horrific holiday. A sprained ankle surely isn't any fun, but neither is a week of forced gaiety with Lushy the Clown and the Tedious Twosome. Be glad you got a last-minute reprieve. As for the money, are you sure your credit card has already been charged? Most hotels don't ring up the final bill until the day of check-out, giving your friends plenty of time to pony up cash for themselves.

??
Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
(In response to "Am I a Hypocrite?" July 18): I have a few words for the person who turned in the guy for smoking pot and yelling at his child in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Where do you get off deciding what's right and wrong, or how this person should live?

??
You have no idea what kind of shit this man has to deal with in his home life, or what was going through his mind at the time your paths crossed. You don't know whether or not he's a good parent the rest of the time. Isn't it possible that you just caught him on a really bad morning?

??
– – Cannabis Action Advocate

??
Every parent has moments with his children he'd rather not have captured on tape and posted on YouTube for the whole world to see, just as most of us would agree that what happens in the privacy of our homes should, ideally, stay there. But the man in question was not only breaking a law in public, he was also making a spectacle of himself by being a jerk to an (apparently) innocent child. Not much of a hero for free speech or the unrestricted pursuit of personal liberties, if you ask us.

??
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com"
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  string(2676) "__Dear Karma Cleanser:__

??
For five or six months, I have been planning a trip with a group of three friends. As the date of our trip approached, I began to realize that we all saw the vacation in a different light. I wanted a nice and relaxing week at the beach, with no cell phone and no schedule. Another guy going on the trip, a friend who drinks gin-and-tonics for breakfast, wanted this to be a week of partying and barhopping. And the other two wanted us to spend our week doing architectural tours, stuff that doesn't interest me in the least.

??
I had paid for our hotel room on my credit card, and my friends had planned to pay me back once we arrived there. But two weeks before the trip, I fell down at my office and injured my ankle.

??
I want to know if this was karma punishing me for not looking forward to my vacation. Also, how can I get the other three to pay me back for the room now that I'm not going on the trip anymore?

??
– ''– Twisted Sister''

??
''Punishing you? Sounds to us like karma was helping you get out of what was shaping up to be a truly horrific holiday. A sprained ankle surely isn't any fun, but neither is a week of forced gaiety with Lushy the Clown and the Tedious Twosome. Be glad you got a last-minute reprieve. As for the money, are you sure your credit card has already been charged? Most hotels don't ring up the final bill until the day of check-out, giving your friends plenty of time to pony up cash for themselves.''

??
__Dear Karma Cleanser:__

??
(In response to "Am I a Hypocrite?" July 18): I have a few words for the person who turned in the guy for smoking pot and yelling at his child in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Where do you get off deciding what's right and wrong, or how this person should live?

??
You have no idea what kind of shit this man has to deal with in his home life, or what was going through his mind at the time your paths crossed. You don't know whether or not he's a good parent the rest of the time. Isn't it possible that you just caught him on a really bad morning?

??
– ''– Cannabis Action Advocate''

??
''Every parent has moments with his children he'd rather not have captured on tape and posted on YouTube for the whole world to see, just as most of us would agree that what happens in the privacy of our homes should, ideally, stay there. But the man in question was not only breaking a law in public, he was also making a spectacle of himself by being a jerk to an (apparently) innocent child. Not much of a hero for free speech or the unrestricted pursuit of personal liberties, if you ask us.''

??
''Been bad? [mailto:karmacleanser@gmail.com|karmacleanser@gmail.com]''"
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??
For five or six months, I have been planning a trip with a group of three friends. As the date of our trip approached, I began to realize that we all saw the vacation in a different light. I wanted a nice and relaxing week at the beach, with no cell phone and no schedule. Another guy going on the trip, a friend who drinks gin-and-tonics for breakfast, wanted this to be a week of partying and barhopping. And the other two wanted us to spend our week doing architectural tours, stuff that doesn't interest me in the least.

??
I had paid for our hotel room on my credit card, and my friends had planned to pay me back once we arrived there. But two weeks before the trip, I fell down at my office and injured my ankle.

??
I want to know if this was karma punishing me for not looking forward to my vacation. Also, how can I get the other three to pay me back for the room now that I'm not going on the trip anymore?

??
– – Twisted Sister

??
Punishing you? Sounds to us like karma was helping you get out of what was shaping up to be a truly horrific holiday. A sprained ankle surely isn't any fun, but neither is a week of forced gaiety with Lushy the Clown and the Tedious Twosome. Be glad you got a last-minute reprieve. As for the money, are you sure your credit card has already been charged? Most hotels don't ring up the final bill until the day of check-out, giving your friends plenty of time to pony up cash for themselves.

??
Dear Karma Cleanser:

??
(In response to "Am I a Hypocrite?" July 18): I have a few words for the person who turned in the guy for smoking pot and yelling at his child in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Where do you get off deciding what's right and wrong, or how this person should live?

??
You have no idea what kind of shit this man has to deal with in his home life, or what was going through his mind at the time your paths crossed. You don't know whether or not he's a good parent the rest of the time. Isn't it possible that you just caught him on a really bad morning?

??
– – Cannabis Action Advocate

??
Every parent has moments with his children he'd rather not have captured on tape and posted on YouTube for the whole world to see, just as most of us would agree that what happens in the privacy of our homes should, ideally, stay there. But the man in question was not only breaking a law in public, he was also making a spectacle of himself by being a jerk to an (apparently) innocent child. Not much of a hero for free speech or the unrestricted pursuit of personal liberties, if you ask us.

??
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com             13025340 1269147                          Karma Cleanser - Bad morning or bad parent? "
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Article

Wednesday August 22, 2007 12:04 am EDT
Karma Cleanser: Will it come back to bite you? | more...
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