Daddy Needs New Shoes January 17 2007

By Noah Gardenswartz Wednesday January 17, 2007 10:02 PM EST

January 17, 2007

Record thus far: 9-10-2 (NHL: 3-1; NBA: 4-6-1; NFL: 2-1-1; NCAA BB: 0-2)

Ouch, Daddy bent over and took it without Vaseline last night, going 0-3! In an attempt to comfort myself - since I couldnï¿½t sleep - I started digging through some old pictures and notebooks in my room, and I stumbled across a college notebook from my history of Western philosophy class. I opened it randomly and the first words I read were on a page devoted to the German philosopher Hegel and they read as follows: ï¿½The moment human history began it had the potential to end.ï¿½ Now, I donï¿½t know if I wrote that down as a direct quote from Hegel, my philosophy teacherï¿½s paraphrasing, or on account of my midday marijuana epiphany, but it certainly seemed applicable to this column three years later. I wondered whether or not DNNS had reached its potential ending simply by beginning; after all, you canï¿½t very well be giving betting advice while having 0-for nights. But then I turned a few more pages and saw some notes on Kierkegaard, which read: ï¿½We must constantly forget what we remember and remember what we forget. Our choices should have no implications other than enjoyment.ï¿½ Here, here, Kierkegaard, and the picks must go on. Tonight I chose one NBA game, one NCAA BB game and one NHL game, all decided with a new philosophical approach. Enjoy.

1) Atlanta Hawks +9 at Minnesota Timberwolves

Atlanta is 2-6 this season when playing on a Wednesday, but their average margin of defeat in those games is by 7.1 points. Minnesota is 4-4 this season on Wednesdays, with their average margin of victory and defeat in those games both being 8.5 points. In both cases, the averages are on the side of the Hawks +9.

2) Southern Illinois Salukis ï¿½6 at Evansville Purple Aces

I donï¿½t know anything about either of these teams, but I do know that I wonï¿½t have many opportunities in this life to bet on a game between the Salukis and the Purple Aces. Hold on ï¿½ Iï¿½m flipping a coin. Heads (Salukis) it is.

3) Calgary Flames at Dallas Stars OVER 5 goals

Calgaryï¿½s my go-to team when I need an OVER, and theyï¿½ve been scoring a lot recently. Seven of their last 10 games have gone OVER, and theyï¿½re playing a Dallas Stars team that has gone OVER in four of their last five.

Please bet responsibly, although I probably won’t.