True Blood’ season 2 finale

“You mess with the bull, you get the horns.” And so it was on last night’s “True Blood” Season 2 finale.

The big day’s finally arrived for Maryann and the God Who Comes and she has just about everything she needs for her holy union: Mothball-infested old lady wedding dress? Check. Bloody ostrich egg? Check. Slighted, contrary maid of honor? Check. Human sacrifice? Ch—dammit! Sometimes you can do all the planning in the world and still end up waiting til the last minute for everything to fall into place.

But fall in place it did, once Bill arrived with Sam to the Circle of Death. Maryann walked down the aisle and Andy followed, adjusting her train. (Normally this duty’s reserved for the MOH, but it proves slightly difficult when you’re being restrained against your will, as was Sookie’s case.) Bill offers Sam in exchange for Sookie and Maryann concedes. Sookie wails in horror, protesting Sam’s fate as her black-eyed peeps bind and gag the bootylicious barkeep. In a flurry of chanting and vibrating (Lafayette: “Worship him bitches!”), Maryann and her masses summon the gods. Eggs brings forth the holy dagger and hands it to Maryann, who plunges it deep into Sam’s chest. Sookie pleads with Sam to “use his gift” and Bill urges Sookie to use hers.