Omnivore - That couple: Customers who love to hate

Why would this pair dine out when they're just going to be miserable?

Although they are a "couple," an unjaded, nonrestaurant eye might mistake them for two strangers here to meet other dining companions. She walks in just prior to him, making a bit of an entrance in her obnoxious mink. He takes the last drag off his cigarette, flicks the butt into one of our flower pots (which obviously doubles as an ashtray), pushes past some other guests at the host stand and heads straight to the bar to order a Scotch and get the bartender to change the channel so that he can see how his athletically irrelevant alma mater is faring against some SEC powerhouse.

After years in this business, I can easily identify "that couple" from the expo line as they come through the door.

Their first victim? Our hostess.

The drama begins to unfold as the hostess attempts to bring them to a table, which of course is not suitable for them. We must be kidding, this table only accommodates two people! And everybody else in the dining room (who they don't really give a fuck about anyway) can't see them. Once we've explored every inch of the dining room, the couple settles for a roomy, round booth that was actually intended for your reservation of five that's coming in a bit later.