How to be a better man

All right, guys, so the new year is now upon us and our best-intention-laced resolutions are hanging around our necks like so many Saran-wrapped holiday leftovers. But before you cave in to your vices again and start planning what you’ll do better in 2007, try this list of inspirational ditties. You’re the man and these five songs (a veritable genre blender) all want you to be a better version of yourself — right now!

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1) “99 Problems” — Jay-Z: Start on your path toward enlightenment by ignoring advertisers, popular radio and the fucking police. And finding a problem-free woman.

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2) “Independence Day” — Martina McBride: Also, don’t abuse your woman.

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3) “Because of You” — Kelly Clarkson: While you’re at it, don’t abuse your woman in front of your children. They’ll grow up to “never stray too far from the sidewalk.” Whatever that means.

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4) “No Scrubs” — TLC: Don’t roll up on your woman with no job. Get a job!

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5) “Holding Out for a Hero” — Bonnie Tyler: Now for the detail-oriented, Ms. Tyler gets specific. If you want to be a good man, you need to be strong, fast, fresh from the fight, sure, soon and larger than life. She essentially lays it out for you. So get to work.