Best songs by movie bands

Imitating the imitators

Every time I hear Busta Rhymes' "I Love My Bitch" (aka "I Love My Chick" if you watch MTV), I can't help but think of Fear of a Black Hat's bad-ass gangsta Tasty Taste (Larry B. Scott). In the mockumentary, Taste shares the following lyrics from a "love ballad" he's working on: "I want to make you mine/Slap your fat behind/Tie you down and make you whine/I want you to scratch my itch/And be my bitch/Because I love you girl." Is Busta rapping, "I love my girl 'cause she knows the shit/She acting kinda ill but she ain't scared of the dick" that far off? Nope. Pop culture is out of new ideas, but if imitating the imitators is going to be the new hotness, we suggest the following fake songs:

1) "Some Days are Dark" — Death Lurks from Brain Candy: "Kids in the Hall's" Bruce McCulloch does a dead-on impersonation of Glenn Danzig, including the pork chop sideburns and overdramatic howl.

2) "Berserker" — Olaf Oleeson from Clerks: A random Russian character sings a little metal ditty that includes the phrase "making fuck." Now that's lyricism.

3) "Cheese and Onions" — the Rutles from All You Need Is Cash: Eric Idle and Gary Weis' TV movie spoofs the Beatles' career. Since so many bands try unsuccessfully to be the Beatles (ahem, Oasis), wouldn't this be a nice twist?

4) "Straight Out of Locash" — CB4 from CB4: This track talks about fucking things and right now, tracks about fucking things are hot (i.e. Nelly Furtado's "Promiscuous").

5) "Riverbottom Nightmare Band" — the Nightmare from Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas: A good one to rip off because not many folks would catch the reference to this holiday movie by Jim Henson. Originally woodland creatures wailed, "We know we're a mess/our kind does not like to be clean/We don't brush our teeth/'cause our toothache can help us stay mean," but wouldn't it rule if any Norwegian black metal band covered it? Those guys need to lighten up, anyhow.

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