Why the ’80s will never die

In 1991’s Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, the titular heroes were granted entry to heaven after explaining the meaning of life. They quoted Poison’s “Every Rose Has its Thorn.” Indeed, every rose does have its thorn, just as the ’80s and all that decade’s trappings will never die. For example, Poison and Cinderella both appear at HiFi Buys Amphitheatre Fri., Aug. 25. Beyond nostalgia tours, each item in the following list is doing its part to keep the ’80s in the pop-culture consciousness:

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1) VH1’s “I Love the ’80s” (the original series, plus the sequels “Strikes Back” and “3-D”) — The ’80s will never die as long as VH1 is alive.

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2) Reality TV — When you need a hit, dust off a celebrity from the vaults. It’s worked for Janice Dickinson, Flavor Flav and Reverend Run.

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3) The War on Drugs — The ’80s can’t really end until America wins.

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4) The Rubik’s Cube — Pharrell was recently seen on BET’s “Rap City: The Basement,” free-styling about his diamond Rubik’s Cube. Now that’s the most ballinest shit ever.

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5) Children of the ’80s --­ Basically, the children of the ’80s (myself included) will always love things at age 25 that they loved at age five. Cases in point: Brand-new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers movies coming out next year.