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Shorts story

I am embarrassed to admit it, but I attended the last day of Music Midtown. I didn't stay long, but it was long enough to get an eyeful of fashion disasters.

From a pigtailed girl with a tutu and a crown of fake flowers, to a painfully sunburned chap in overalls sans shirt, the fashion travesties were apparent at every turn. But, the most atrocious monstrosity that seemed to reappear as I made my way through the drunken crowds: girls in ass-cupping shorts.

Unless you have been blessed with freakishly long and lean legs, shorts — christened the new pants — are extremely hard to pull off. The current trend of wearing ultra skimpy shorts is almost impossible to properly execute without having your thighs look like sausages and your bum rumble like two pigs wrestling with each step you take. Still, shorts took over the runways with models at Chloe sporting denim and cotton high-waisted styles that rose way above the knee. Calvin Klein dressed it up by pairing tailored shorts with classic suit jackets. Prada was a bit more forgiving, featuring shorts that, though thigh high, were wide in the leg. FrostFrench had the most flattering shorts of the season — bloomerlike with puckered pockets and frilly prints. I still wouldn't be caught dead in them.

Wear them if you dare, but shorts look a lot better with a pair of sneakers than they do even with a great pair of heels. Don't do your legs the injustice — wear a great skirt or dress and save the shorts for the gym.

If you have a tip or have noticed a trend you think our resident fashionista should know about, e-mail your comments to product@creativeloafing.com.