The Blotter: AFTER THE WAR

A 29-year-old military veteran took his Sony PlayStation Vita to an adult video-and-toy store on Piedmont Circle. Around 3 a.m., he met a girl dubbed "Jasmine" (a fake name). The veteran said Jasmine asked him for directions to get somewhere. He offered to drive her — and Jasmine said, sure, as long as we take my car.  So off they went. The veteran said during the early-morning adventure, he accidentally left his PlayStation Vita in Jasmine's car. But he didn't realize that until after he returned to the adult video and toy store. He said he called Jasmine around 5:30 a.m. — and Jasmine said yes, she has the PlayStation, and he should call back at 8 a.m. to get it. Jasmine never returned another one of his calls.

The military veteran called police and reported his Vita system stolen. He said the gaming system is very, very important to him. The cop noted: "Due to PTSD symptoms, his PlayStation Vita is often his only connection to the outside world."

RANDOM MIST: A 19-year-old woman was standing at a MARTA bus stop on Campbellton Road, when suddenly a strange guy walked up and sprayed her face. The random sprayer wore a white T-shirt, brown boots, and a white shirt or towel wrapped around his head. The woman had never met him before. He didn't try to steal anything — just doused her and ran off.  Apparently, the spray wasn't dangerous — it didn't even hurt her eyes.

NUDIE PICS AND JESUS: A 33-year-old man said a guy has been harassing him and his wife for more than two years — since May 2010. He said the guy threatens them by "using religious quotes from the Bible" —and by saying he's gonna post sexual photos of the man and his wife on Facebook. He said the guy contacts them on Facebook, at work, and at home. Also, the man said the guy contacted the Georgia Composite Medical Board and made false reports about his alternative/holistic treatment practice.  

SEDATION NATION: Police got a tip from the Department of Homeland Security about a guy receiving lots of heavy-duty prescription drugs in the mail, at his Buckhead apartment.  A narcotics unit went to the guy's apartment and knocked on the door. A 35-year-old man opened the door.  "Upon entering the apartment we noticed that there was no furniture inside the living room," police noted. The man said he just moved in — and he didn't know it was illegal to send pills through the mail. He admitted several packages of pills were in the upstairs loft, ready to be mailed. He gave police permission to search his apartment, and waived his Miranda rights. The upstairs loft contained enough pills to sedate almost every American (at least until the presidential election is over, ha-ha). Police found 15,128 Xanax pills, 7,484 Valium pills, 6,500 Lorazepam pills, 10,717 Ambien pills, 7,740 phentermine hydrochloride pills,  350 Ativan pills, and 352 Viagra pills. Also, there were a couple hundred generic Valiums, for the low-rent customers.

Plus, mailing boxes and labels were everywhere. The man realized the jig was up. He signed a confession statement right there and then, admitting to his pill scheme.

SLUTWEAR PASSION: A middle-aged man walked into an adult toy and fantasy store on Cheshire Bridge Road and introduced himself to the store clerks. He looked around the store for a while — but didn't buy anything — and left. Seven hours later, the same guy returned — no chitchat this time — and immediately walked upstairs to the lingerie section. Store surveillance video shows the man pulling out a black empty bag from his pocket, pulling lingerie off the wall, and stuffing lingerie into his bag. Within 90 seconds, the man filled his bag with gobs of lingerie and left the store. He made a clean getaway. (It was about 2 a.m. and clerks didn't figure out what happened until the guy was long gone, and they reviewed the video.)

Soon his lingerie itch needed scratching again. So what does our slutwear suspect do? Three days later, the same guy returns to the same adult fantasy store. Clerks called the cops the moment he walked through the door. The 49-year-old man went to jail for stealing lingerie. (Dude, there's oh-so-plenty of adult stores on Cheshire Bridge Road — the place is crawling with 'em. Learn to mix it up!)

TURTLE ON THE ROAD: An elderly woman was accused of driving wayyyy too slow on the highway. Her black Nissan was going about 25 mph in the "fast lane" on I-85 southbound. (It was about 2:30 a.m. with virtually no other traffic around) A cop flipped on his blue lights and siren and tried to pull her over. "The driver stopped on the left shoulder but sticking out into the HOV lane," the cop noted. "I got on my PA system and instructed the driver to continue forward, pick up some speed, and safely move to the right shoulder." But the old lady just took off – zooming down the highway. "The driver never exceeded 40 mph the entire time I was following," the cop wrote.  Police repeatedly tried to stop her — but she kept slowly driving. After a while, another officer drove ahead and deployed "stop sticks." The elderly woman drove over the "stop sticks" — which punctured her tires — and still, she kept on going for "approximately another minute or two." Eventually, her car stopped. The woman said she was OK, but she wanted to know what the heck was going on. She said she hadn't driven on a highway for two years — and she only pulled over because her tire went flat. She said she was driving out of state — but police couldn't figure out the purpose of her trip. The officer deduced that the woman "was not impaired but rather just elderly and probably shouldn't have been driving on the highway." Police drove her back to her apartment on Ponce de Leon Avenue.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.