The blotter June 13 2007

POOR BASTARD REALLY NEEDS A GIRLFRIEND: A 911 operator reported that a man called and said two women were trying to stab him. A police officer went to the man's house on Oak Drive. Then the man said he never called and said anything about a knife fight. The 911 operator verified that a person using the man's name and phone number had made the call. The man, age 29, was arrested for false report of a crime. (Blotter aside: Even weirder ... there's a section on police reports where an officer can describe any "oddity" about a suspect's appearance. On this police report, the officer wrote "shot in right leg" in the "oddity" section.) The man went to jail.

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YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK? A 48-year-old woman said she was having some problems with a co-worker, who is also her former boyfriend. They both work for the state of Georgia, in the same department. She said he sent her a letter threatening to send more letters to defame her if she didn't comply with his wishes ... and she said he told her to buy a firearm in order to fake a robbery/homicide. Here's how the ex-boyfriend is described: A heavyset man who is 6 feet 4 inches tall, with long curly hair and a full beard.

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CITY WORKERS CAN'T GET NO RESPECT: A city of Atlanta employee said he was fertilizing the grass at the playground at Chastain Park when a large, white poodle ran up and bit his leg. He said the dog's owner, an older man, had let this poodle off its leash. The city employee told the dog's owner that he wanted a police report. He said the dog's owner handed him some gauze and a bandage and told him that would fix it. He said they argued because the dog's owner refused to wait for police, adding, "Fuck you," "I'll kick your ass," and "You're just trying to get money." The dog's owner drove away before police showed up. But the city employee wrote down his license plate number. Police tracked down the dog owner's home and knocked ... no one answered. Medics treated the city worker's bleeding leg.

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THE OLD "I'LL TELL YOUR WIFE" LINE JUST BACKFIRES: An undercover officer called an escort service and requested a blonde. A blue-eyed muscular woman who calls herself "Alex" contacted him and agreed to a one-hour session for $250. But apparently she was running late. "After an hour of waiting, I attempted to cancel because I was interviewing other subjects," the officer noted. He said "Alex" insisted that she was close by, and he would have to pay a cancellation fee of $100. Then, the officer said, "Alex" showed up at his hotel-room door, demanding the $100. The officer said his wife was en route, and asked if they could reschedule. Apparently, "Alex" refused to leave and said she would "wait for my wife to come or I could pay her now and she would leave." Detectives were monitoring the room. Quickly, "Alex" was arrested for escorting without a permit. She hails from Canton.

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FIRESTARTER: A middle-aged woman said her 80-year-old mother called and said her other daughter was starting a fire inside her apartment. Furthermore, the mom said her daughter was talking about cleansing her soul by fire. The middle-aged woman rushed over to her mother's apartment on Felton Street and found her elderly mother on the ground, crawling toward the kitchen, where a fire was blazing on the stove and countertops. She said her older sister (the mother's other daughter) was walking around the apartment with newspapers in her hands and talking to herself. She said she tried to put the fire out, but her sister kept starting it again, so she called 911. Medics treated the elderly mother for smoke inhalation and took her to a hospital. An arson investigator said he was going to charge the older sister with arson.

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MOMS CAN'T GET NO RESPECT: On Larchwood Avenue, an 86-year-old woman said her son refused to let her in her own home because she had a medical fraud case out. The elderly mother can't walk, and medics were on the scene. A police officer asked the son: "Why won't you let your mother into her house?" He said his mother was involved in an insurance fraud or scandal. He also said he worked for the FBI. The son, age 60, went to Grady Memorial Hospital for a psychological evaluation. The mother went back inside her home. No injuries.

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BRAIN CHEMISTRY: An officer responded to a dispute on Paines Avenue. A 38-year-old man approached the officer's patrol car and said he has a chemical imbalance in his brain, and he hasn't been taking his medication. He said a woman in another apartment pulled a pistol on him, and he told her he was going to bash her head open. The officer walked upstairs to the woman's apartment, noticing broken glass all over the steps. The officer asked: "Where did the glass come from?" She said the man threw empty beer bottles at her front door. Also, she said the man walked into her apartment, grabbed some trophies off her wall and threatened to bash her head with them. Apparently, her husband pulled her away so she wouldn't get hit. There was no gun in the woman's apartment, police noted. The man was arrested for damaging property and sent to Grady Memorial Hospital.

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Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.