The Blotter July 09 2008

O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? A 46-year-old man called 911 and said a Man in Short Pants was trying to stab his mother. An officer turned on his sirens and sped over to the apartment on Henry Thomas Drive. As the officer walked up, the 46-year-old man said, “He’s in there, get him!” The officer drew his gun and walked into the apartment. He talked to the mother — turns out the 46-year-old and the Man in Short Pants are brothers. The Man in Short Pants said he and his brother were fighting over some sausage that was eaten. The officer asked the mother: “Did either of your sons pull a knife on you and try to stab you?” The mother replied, “No, of course not.” The officer asked the 46-year-old man: “Tell me the truth, was anyone trying to stab your mother?” He replied, “No, I lied to get you here quicker.” The officer explained that three more police officers were headed to the apartment, and he had pulled out his gun because the man lied to the 911 operator. The officer collected the man’s sneakers and arrested him for falsely reporting a crime.

OFFICE ROMANCE REVEALED? A woman said a co-worker had copied her book, called Thorn in My Side — In an Internal Affair, and distributed it around the office. The woman “is reporting a copyright infringement,” an officer wrote. According to the police report, the woman works at the Fulton County Government Center on Pryor Street.

HIGH MARKS FOR AIRPORT SECURITY: A man said 13 rounds of ammunition were missing from his luggage when it arrived at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. No other items were missing from his bags.

PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ: Police got a call from employees at a posh hotel on Peachtree Street. As an officer neared the hotel, he saw a 52-year-old woman running from two men in business suits. He quickly stopped the woman. A hotel security guard said the woman had checked into two separate rooms and this was caught on surveillance tape. He said hotel employees were suspicious because an old Coca-Cola business account number was used to reserve the rooms.

So the security guard went to one of her hotel rooms and asked the woman for ID and a credit card. According to the guard, the woman said her daughter had those items and she wouldn’t be back for several hours. She offered up her Social Security card instead. The guard asked her to go with him to the hotel office. He said they rode in the elevator together, and when they reached the lobby, the woman took off running. Total charges for the two hotel rooms: $3,226.89. She went to jail.

NEAT-FREAK HATER? A woman said she returned to her apartment on Harwell Road and noticed that the back door was kicked in and damaged. She said she looked around, and realized that her bed and closets were messed up. Nothing was missing from her apartment, she said.

WALKING IN ATLANTA: A man said he fell into a hole on the sidewalk at the intersection of Hortense Place and Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. He had a minor injury on his leg. The 48-year-old man said he is diabetic, and he wanted a police report because he might have trouble with his leg later on. “The hole is about three feet deep and about as wide as a soccer ball,” the officer wrote. Medics checked out the man. They said he had high blood pressure, but his leg was OK. The officer reported the hole and said it needed to be covered up. The man refused further medical treatment and he walked home.

NUTTY NEIGHBOR AWARD: A man said his neighbor (a guy known as “Freak”) came to his front door and asked to use his telephone. The man refused to let Freak use the phone. Apparently, Freak just freaked out. The man said Freak kicked his front door, causing damage to the frame. Then, the man said he and Freak got into a brawl outside his apartment on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. Apparently, Freak fled before police arrived. The man said his hand was injured in the fight with Freak, but he refused medical treatment. He doesn’t know Freak’s real name.

SO TO SPEAK: At Piedmont Hospital, a doctor reported that a patient said he was going to kill a man named “Spook” or “Spoke” — and then shoot himself. Police arrived and talked to the patient, a 39-year-old man. The patient then said a man named “Spook” or “Spoon” had pulled a gun on him near Peachtree Road and Broad Street. He described the guy called Spook, Spoke or Spoon as a bald man.

LABOR PAINS: A woman said someone keyed the word “Bitch” on her car’s trunk and side while it was parked outside a Checkers fast-food restaurant on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. (The woman works at this Checkers.) She said she suspects a disgruntled ex-employee, who was fired for stealing money. The officer wrote: “The employee returned to return her uniform — the same night her car was damaged. Coincidence?”

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9’s (Dave FM) “The Zakk Tyler Morning Show” every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.