The Blotter August 18 2011

A bald man wearing a white button-down shirt and black pants walked into a high-end kitchen store at Ansley Mall. The store manager walked up to see if the man needed any help and says the bald man “spoke about knives as if he were familiar with the brands and types.” He said the man identified himself and gave his phone number.

After identifying himself to the manager — or, most likely, giving a fake name — the man began stuffing knives in his pants. The store manager says the guy put two boxes of J.A. Henckels knives (worth $400) and an entire knife block set (worth $1,500) in the back of his pants. He says the man opened another box, grabbed all the knives inside and then tried to leave the store without paying. The manager followed him and said, “I know you have the knives. Put them down.” He said the man put down the knives from the last box and sprinted around to the back of the mall. (How the guy could walk, let alone run, with that many knives in his pants remains unclear.) He managed to get away, but left fingerprints on the knives he left behind.

FOWL PLAY: A 24-year-old woman said she was at home on Thomasville Drive when a woman known as “Tweety” leapt out of a green minivan and started hitting her. Tweety is no stranger — she’s the new girlfriend of the woman’s baby daddy. Apparently, the woman still lives next door to her baby daddy even though he’s taken up with Tweety. The whole fight started because they have a custody hearing in court this month over their little boy. The woman says Tweety scratched both sides of her neck and down the middle of her back.

Allegedly, the woman’s cousin jumped in and tried to break up the fight, but the baby daddy intervened — so the cousin bit baby daddy’s neck. An officer confirmed, “Upon a closer look, you could see that it was indeed a bite mark.” Tweety took off long before police arrived, and all anyone would say is that she lives somewhere in Lithonia. That’s helpful.

PRECIOUS METAL: On Northside Drive, a 75-year-old-woman reported that a thief with sophisticated tastes broke into her home while she was sleeping and stole her silver service collection. The thief got in by breaking the glass window on the back door, reaching in and turning the handle. Missing items include solid silver goblets, flatware settings, serving trays and some antique dishes. The woman said her collection is worth up to $100,000. A police officer arrived and found just a few pieces of silver sitting in the woman’s backyard — apparently, the silver thief’s hands were full.

PRICEY PANCAKE ADVENTURE: A 38-year-old woman said she parked her white Chevy Suburban near the IHOP on Greenbriar Parkway and went inside. When she returned to her car three hours later, everything inside was gone. Apparently, this woman drives around with more stuff in her car than most people have in their entire bedroom. Items reported missing: a Georgia Bulldog comforter, diamond stud earrings, a laptop, iPod, CD player, a pink Nintendo game set with Dora the Explorer and Barbie games, a television, a gold bracelet with “Lexus” engraved on it and a 22-inch TV.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva complies them and puts them into her own words.