Bad Habits - Flag issue a matter of taste - January 20 2001

There's a lot of talk about changing the Georgia flag. Too much talk, mind you. The flag definitely needs to be changed. But it's not about heritage. And it's not about hate. It's about appearance. The problem with the Georgia flag is that it's just plain ugly.
Georgia never has had a good-looking flag. I think the powers that be knew this when they altered it four times in the 1900s alone. In 1956, they decided — in reaction to the civil rights movement or in anticipation of the War Between the States' centennial, you be the judge — to make the flag even uglier. Not as bad as Maryland's or Ohio's or Hawaii's or Colorado's, mind you. But still. Ugly. Has Georgia not embarrassed itself enough throughout the years? Does it need to fly this ugly-ass tarp all over the land?
There are other reasons the Georgia flag needs to be changed. One is self esteem. I am a Southerner. And as a Southerner, I don't want to see the Rebel flag or any part of it. Why do other Southerners insist on being reminded day in and day out that they bit off more than they could chew and then had their asses handed back to them on a platter? The Confederate flag and the Georgia state flag may as well have a banner tacked on that says "LOSERS."
At least, you know you are in a land of tolerance and freedom when the losers of a major war are still allowed to fly their colors — their battle flag, even. Do you think this is happening in South Vietnam? Did we let Japan fly its flag after we nuked it? Did Hitler let Poland fly its flag after he rolled into town? Usually, vanquished states must surrender their articles of war. This truly is a great nation for letting us parade the fact that we are a vanquished, defeated people. But does that mean we have to advertise it?
I come from South Carolina, land of the most beautiful flag in the nation. I'm sure you've seen it. Natives put decals and vanity plates on their cars. Natives wear the T-shirts. Hell, we started that damn war, but did we mar our flag with those ugly stripes? No, we did not. The South Carolina state flag is a Palmetto centered in a field of dark blue, with a crescent moon in the upper left corner. It almost looks Middle Eastern. It is dramatic yet understated, simple but not simplistic, conservative yet intriguing, rogue yet civilized. It inspires pride and devotion, not false pride and divisiveness. Could it be because South Carolina's a much better state? (I'm just askin'.) For all Georgia's hype about being the most "progressive" Southern state, who is it that took down its Confederate flag from their Capitol? Why, that would be South Carolina. (Of course they moved it across the street to the Confederate Memorial where it's more visible, but ... )
Maybe, they'll never change the Georgia flag. If not, I think black people who care about the issue should simply co-opt it — sort of like how ACT-UP usurped the Pink Triangle, formerly a Nazi persecution mark for homosexuals. Anti-Rebels should start sewing Rebel flags on the asses of their jeans, put decals on their cars, wear Rebel caps. I have several sticker ideas: Perhaps a battle flag with the words, "Who da man now, Cracker?" Or maybe one that says: "My Ancestors Went to the Civil War And All I Got Was This Stupid Flag."
Maybe Georgia actually has the flag it deserves. Or maybe it deserves a flag with a big fat peach on it. I'll let you in on another little secret: South Carolina has better peaches too. I don't know how the hell Georgia became the Peach State with the second-rate peaches it hawks. So, not only is Georgia's flag lacking, it is a pretender to the Peach State throne. But I'll save that for my produce column. Happy MLK DAY!