Karma Cleanser - January 27 2005

Dear Karma Cleanser:

I’d been seeing this person whom I thought was “The One.” I’ve been a widow for almost 19 years (I lost my husband in a terrible accident when I was 35) and dated several guys, although not seriously. Well, here comes this handsome face with steel gray eyes that melted my heart almost from the start. Over the past year, he’s been in and out of my life with always the heartfelt apology. I’ve tried to be there for him as a friend, then as a lover and sounding board. Needless to say, I’ve supported him mentally and physically during this time, and yet I’m always left holding the bag. My question is, do my efforts to be sincere and helpful to someone I care for with nothing in return make me just a “sucker” and nothing more? What kind of karma may I expect from this?

Let’s talk about apples and lemons. Suppose you’re in the mood for a fresh, steamy apple pie. Along comes a traveling fruit salesman, but alas, all he has in stock are lemons. No offense to him or his wares, but you’ve already had your share of lemons in life. You can be as nice and supportive and flirtatious as you want - but the guy is still going to be selling lemons. You’re only a sucker if you think that your actions can somehow change what’s on the produce truck. Don’t settle for lemonade when there’s an apple pie guy just waiting to be discovered.

Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.??