Karma Cleanser - March 03 2005

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
?Me and my boyfriend were really happy for 10 months, but things had started to get really comfy (and kinda boring) when one of his friends started calling me. This friend took advantage of my weakness for betrayal, coincidences, “spiritual connections” and the like. He didn’t have to try hard to seduce me. Did I mention that this guy wanted out of his marriage to a polygamous pagan? Anyway, I broke up with my boyfriend so that we could have a furious, desperate affair. He dumped his crazy wife and moved in with some friends that I introduced him to, a couple who needed a roommate. Turns out that my female friend was also looking for a way out of her relationship. She dumped her boyfriend, and she and my lover moved out together. I got what was coming to me. Now they have the kind of relationship that my boyfriend and I once had: comfortable and steady. They also believe that they are entitled to their happiness. Does karma punish those who believe they did nothing wrong? Should I even consider staying friends with these people?

Those who believe they did nothing wrong aren’t immune to karma’s consequences. And if you truly believe in coincidences and connections, you should take yourself out of this equation. Your ex-lover has now sabotaged three separate relationships. We’d suggest you keep your distance and see how long his latest fling lasts.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?There is a chick who lives in my apartment complex who has an?infant child — a newborn, really. I’ve watched her sitting out on her?small patio, sometimes breastfeeding. The whole thing is strangely?exciting for me to watch. I’m not so much attracted to the woman?herself, but that small flash of her breast just drives me crazy. I?can’t really see anything from my window (it’s across the parking lot)?but I find myself checking the blinds several times a day to see if?she’s out there.

I feel guilty for spying on her. Is my karma ruined by getting turned?on by this kind of thing?

-- Baby Monitor

First off, ew. A mother with newborn child may well be the?definition of “not sexy,” though we suppose there really is no?accounting for taste. Plus, there’s the whole creep factor of watching?through your window, though the mom really should know better than to?suckle in public. Regardless, close your blinds before you get caught.?Why not take your breast fetish to the Internet like everyone else?