Karma Cleanser - March 12 2008

Dear Karma Cleanser:

(In response to “Scarred in Coach,” March 5) Karma Cleanser blew it last week. Karma rewards selflessness and reacts accordingly to selfishness. The writer can’t stand children and is perplexed that people think she’s evil when she admits it. The love a parent feels for his child is the closest thing to pure love any human can experience. Yet this woman views it as a prison sentence. Turbulence caused the children to get ill and what was her primary concern? It was her $250 shoes. What a pathetic individual.

In the movie Evan Almighty, God appears to Evan’s wife, who left her husband after praying for the family to become closer. God asks her, if someone prays for their family to grow closer, do you think God zaps the family with warm, fuzzy feelings, or does he provide challenges that give the family the opportunity to choose closeness?

The letter writer values her shoes over the comfort of small children. Knowing she spent $250 on shoes was my first clue her priorities are out of whack, but that is seriously fucked up! Karma isn’t punishing her; it is providing her the opportunity to discover what is truly meaningful in life. Rather than focus on her shoes, karma put her there to observe the tenderness exhibited by the children’s parents. Not everyone is blessed with the gifts required to be a parent, and obviously this woman should have her tubes tied. But that doesn’t mean karma grants her permission to be a self-absorbed bitch.

– – Disappointed in Charlotte

Well, thank the heavens for Evan Almighty. Here we were thinking we’d squandered 90 precious minutes of our remaining time on Earth sitting through an unfunny paycheck picture for Steve Carell. And now we learn that yes, there actually was a message beyond the mediocrity. Kudos to you for helping all of us see the light.

Dear Karma Cleanser:

I’m depressed about my upcoming birthday. It’s my last year before turning 30 and I haven’t met many of the goals I set for my 20s. I am impatient with myself and that causes me to be short with the people around me.

To celebrate, some friends want to take me to a bar, but I’m thinking about canceling the outing and having a quiet weekend at home. Will karma make it worse on me for going or not going?

– – Hate On Me

They must be true friends if they’re itching to party with you even in your pissy mode. Perhaps they realize patience and perseverance don’t come from the happy times, but are born out of life’s challenges. It’s the lesson we apparently should’ve learned from Evan Almighty, though some of us were slow on the uptake.

Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com