Bobby's Reality Check: Everyone loves a mental breakdown

"Real Housewives of New York" Kelly Bensimon's breakdown was too good to be created by screenwriters, too pure to be acted by the finest thespians

You call it a breakdown. I call it a breakthrough. The mental health of worthless women has never never been as entertaining as this week. "Real Housewives" Kelly Bensimon's island crack-up was the most psychobabble thing this side of Mariah Carey's TRL collapse, while "The Hills" fembot Heidi Montag rubbed her special magic crystals in crazyland. Over in "Jersey," Danielle's daughter nearly passed out from the physical exhaustion of standing. Britney put down your umbrella, we've got some mental health issues to discuss.

We've all been waiting for this moment, the moment that everyone saw coming but no one could understand what the hell she was saying. Kelly Bensimon on "The Real Housewives of New York" finally came undone. Sweet Jesus. We've all seen Kelly's insanity but never knew if it was just a ditzy personality or directed only at Bethenny. But aboard the S.S. Ramonacoaster in the high, briny seas, Kelly couldn't take it anymore. First she started attacking the other housewives on the trip, telling Alex she was channeling the devil, telling Ramona (who invited Kelly on this rejuvenation bachelorette cruise spectacular in the first place) to zip it repeatedly, and of course harping on Bethenny. Let's break down the breakdown.