Savannah cab companies get serious about barf

• WIKIMEDIA
• It's no coincidence that Ireland is shaped like a puddle of vomit

If you're planning on celebrating St. Patrick's Day in Savannah this weekend, it's likely you're also planning on vomiting in the backseat of a taxi. Savannah cab drivers are like, "Hey, not so fast." In an article that borders on brilliance, the Savannah Morning News talked to local taxi drivers who say companies are charging pukey passengers a fee of between $75 and $150. Here's what a fella named Robert Patterson had to say about driving around psychotic revelers on St. Paddy's Day ...
“I pick up couples at the beginning of the night and they’re so polite, wearing suits and ties, dresses and heels,” Patterson says. “I go get those same couples at the end of the night and hardly even recognize them. They argue the whole way home, with all their issues coming to bear in the back of my cab.”

Patterson attributes much of the extreme behavior to people who don’t normally drink but toss all inhibitions aside on St. Patrick’s Day.

Fellow cabbie Lyle Myers has learned that the hard way. He now keeps a bucket handy.

“It’s too expensive not to,” he says, though cab
companies do not foot the entire bill. Any customer who vomits in a cab has to pay a fee, which ranges from $75 to $150, depending on the company.

Patterson also shared this anecdote ...
“Last year, a man called at 6 a.m. asking to be picked up outside Wild Wing Cafe in City Market,” Patterson says. “When I got there, his shirt was tattered and he had twigs in his hair. He said he’d just woken up in the bushes and that a security guard told him he had to go. Then he said he couldn’t go home because, when he’d left the house, he’d told his wife that he was only going to the grocery store.”

What happens in Savannah DOES NOT STAY IN SAVANNAH, amirite? Except your money. If you puke in a cab. Good night.