Tiny Towne, the most metro Atlanta-tastic amusement park one could imagine

The bizarre land of early driver education


A new edutainment center is bringing the wonder and majesty of the DMV to Norcross kids this spring.

Tiny Towne, a new indoor edutainment center, is coming in May to teach toddlers and kids ages three to 15 how to act and drive on the road. At Tiny Towne, kids will learn the importance of safety and the rules of the road. By putting them behind the wheel of mini-cars to drive around on realistic streets, kids can now know the red-hot rage of being sideswiped or the indignation of being flipped off by little Sally.

Kiddie drivers at Tiny Towne will learn to respect road signs and other drivers. No Vin Diesel stunts. No Ricky Bobby antics. We’re talking the comfort and tranquility of Nathan’s Driving School, for pre-teens.

Parents will be able to put their kid in one of three different level tracks where they go the speed limit and stop at stop signs. To get on harder tracks, their kid has to pass multiple choice quizzes.

Track 1 aims to teach older kids to not crash, use the seatbelt, and keep their hands on the steering wheel. On Track 2, drivers will encounter road signs and learn to stay in their lane (metaphorical life lessons). On the most advanced track, kids can drive faster but run the risk of getting pulled over by cops, who can arrest scofflaws because they’re not insured. Bummer.

If driving doesn’t suit their tastes, turn up at a birthday party (BYOC - bring your own cake), eat pizza, chill in the arcade, or take unlimited - UNLIMITED! - train rides though the complex. It being metro Atlanta, the train is an afterthought next to the car.

The Car-Cade for toddlers teaches their tykes how to hold the steering wheel by tilting them up-and-down and side-to-side in a stationary car. They might want to hold their baby’s head in place as it jerks from side-to-side.

Tiny Towne isn’t open yet, but will be soon. (A $20 voucher is available on its website.) Print it out, and when the center opens, toss the kids in the car, and then when you get there, put them in another car. Drive safely!