“Top Chef” All-stars, episode 5: Dim Sum Lose Sum

• http://clatl.com/atlanta/ImageArchives?by=1223504
• Big Poppa Tom and flying-Oreo Padma are SO AWESOME!!

So I’ve been getting a bit of flak from readers and friends about my “Top Chef” posts this season, for being too, uh, grumpy. “Most of what you say is true, but it’s sort of like having someone telling you the next day all the bad things about all the drinking and smoking you did the night before,” one friend wrote to me. “Takes all the fun right out of it.”

So this week, a different Besha, a happy, sober Besha takes over.

But before she does, one word about recaps. They’re dumb. You don’t need me to tell you what happened - you watched the damn show! If you didn’t, and you’re reading this because you’ve got nothing better to do, then I do hope to entertain you a smidge, but really? TV blog posts are for folks who have already watched the show - I am not recapping, I am discussing. So there.

But now! Enough with the Debbie Downer! Be gone, Besha Bummer! It’s all roses and kitten farts up in this biznitch.

Wasn’t this week’s episode awesome? Padma is so pretty, especially when she wears shirts that make her look like some kind of glorious winged zebra and says stuff like “hello chefs.”

And Tom! To be able to make such a great dish in only eight minutes and 37 seconds that he thought about with producers for probably weeks and knew by heart and probably practiced ahead of time!? That’s talent. Throwing a fish at Padma, our glorious chain-gang angel, was just icing on the branzino.

Did you see Richard’s face when they announced that the winner of the quickfire would get a new car? He was all “Whatevs, I already won one of those. IN THE FINALS.” I mean, seriously, they’re giving away cars in the 5th episode now? What, do they think we’re sick of these semi-celebs already and they need to throw in free-car excitement to keep us glued? How cutely wrong of them. We love these guys! We’d watch if all they were giving away was Swanson broth!