Red hot geek love

Local geeks take heart. Sure, the 14th is for lovers. But this month, the 13th — Friday the 13th, in fact — should be a happy holiday for local loners, outsiders, pariahs and general oddballs who march to their own drummer.

Two area musicians — self-described "dork and dweeb" Beth Kargel, and "geek and book nerd" Lindsay Smith — have assembled a pair of very different gatherings for Valentine's Eve.

At the Earl, Kargel's Valentine's Day Massacre features various musicians playing covers of songs that deal with "tainted love, cheatin' hearts and why breakin' up is hard to do." Plus, you'll find piñata bashing to benefit AID Atlanta, and audience karaoke.

At Eddie's Attic, Smith presides over Geek Fest, a three-ring circus of misfits and miscreants that includes a geek kissing booth, strip Mad Libs and trivia.

Both events feature performances by acts hand-picked by Kargel and Smith. As a special Valentine to you, dear readers, Creative Loafing has polled many of the scene's geekiest artists — a sizzling hot-list of our most beloved rebels — about pressing geek issues. The diverse assemblage transcends all boundaries, age groups and echelon. And if your favorite musical oddball was omitted from our bouquet of renegade roses, we share your pain. The "different" among us are all too familiar with exclusion.

Indie dork diva: Beth Kargel (keyboardist, Silent Kids)

Geek confession: "I can't watch many movies. I get unnaturally upset if there is any suspense or violence and I have to leave the room. I spend most of the time in the next room or burying my face yelling out, 'What's happening?' and 'Is it over yet?' Nobody wants to watch movies with me."

IQ: "Lower than I'd like. I remember that I cried during the test."

Faves: "All right, I'll admit it — I love The Cure."

Peeves: "Foundation garments, increasing property taxes, speed limits, kids these days."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "AC/DC for certain. Bring on the rock."

Ideal date: "Dairy Queen. Or roller-skating. How about Dairy Queen and roller-skating?"

Are geeks hot — or not? "Piping hot. Especially if their hair is messy and their socks don't match."

Status: Dating.

Missfit: Frau Nau (performer and special effects designer, the Dictatortots)

Geek confession: "I like gaming, playing with power tools, sex and classical Russian literature. I grew up in a fantastic world. My father was very imaginative and loved Tolkien and Verne and Shakespeare and all of the legends surrounding the Knights of the Round Table. I grew up convinced that I was a dispossessed princess and that somewhere out there was a castle with my family name on it. Tolkien was read to me as a child and I don't remember the first time I read it myself."

IQ: "I took the test as a child and scored between 130 and 150."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "D&D, Warhammer 40K, B&D."

Ideal date: "Why restrict yourself to a day, when you can have the whole weekend! Make mine a 'no pants weekend.' Get food and entertainment in advance or order out and get naked and wild at home."

Are geeks hot — or not? "Hot. Competence and a perverse imagination really turn me on."

Status: "I like being taken. Again and again."

Booknerd: Lindsay Smith ("alternacheesefolk" singer/songwriter)

Geek confession: "I've found ways to get paid for most of the geeky things I do that would otherwise be considered hobbies: working at the Renaissance Festival, singing Christmas carols in full Victorian costume, getting up on stage and playing songs I wrote myself."

IQ: "I think I took an IQ test when I was 5, and they put me in the gifted class, and that was the end of it."

Faves: "My favorite movie of all time is Footloose, whichhaseverythingI typically look for in a movie: cheesy '80s music, cheesy '80s dancing, cheesy '80s hair, Kevin Bacon and rebellious teenagers."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "I would pick D&D if I could have a D&D character who was really powerful and cool and could kick all the other characters' asses. But that never happens, so I've long since given up on the whole stupid game."

Are geeks hot — or not? "If he has a sense of humor, hot. If he just sulks bitterly about how nobody understands him, pass."

Status: Taken

Prog-rock science geek: Andy Tegethoff (vocals, bass, keyboards, Solution Science Systems)

Geek confession: "I have a substantial comic book collection, I develop software for a living and I'm in a prog-rock band."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "Somewhere between D&D and AC/DC. I've always had a better-than-average attention span. I don't think you can be a serious nerd or geek if you can't concentrate on a geek hobby."

Are geeks hot — or not? "In a general sense, I think not. Nerdy ladies are cool, though. I like the glasses, at least."

Status: "Married, with a son and a baby on the way. The current International Brotherhood of Geeks strategy calls for completely overtaking the population by our nerd progeny by 2010."

''Dorkcore rocker: Tony Jenkins (drummer, spiritual guide, Homeroom)

Geek confession: "In many circles I wouldn't be considered hip enough to be a geek, nerd or misfit, which is probably why I'm a dork."

Peeve: "The term 'guilty pleasure.' I'll be damned if I'm going to feel guilty for feeling good about something, just because it's not hip. And if I wear, say, a Tom Jones T-shirt, it's not because I think it's funny. It's because I find Tom Jones to be one hell of an entertainer."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "AC/DC is the answer to 95.5 percent of all questions consisting of three possible answers."

Are geeks hot — or not? "People who do not classify themselves are hot. Of course, you can't go around telling people, 'I don't classify myself,' because that's classification of the worst kind."

Status: "I'm available to be taken, though I don't know if my fiancee would be cool with that. So maybe I better say taken, no matter how many hearts it will break."

Middle-age(s) pied piper of geekdom: Larry Morris (whistles and pipes, webmaster, kilt model, Emerald Rose)

Geek confession: "We started out normal, then the bell curve of life just drifted away from us. Science fiction seemed so much more interesting than life. Our friends all left us to go live in suburban condos. We didn't like square rooms or crown molding. We can't go into the woods without meeting at least one Elf. Tolkien is life, all else is illusion."

IQ: "The four of us probably aggregate 500-plus points between us, except at certain times, like right after Dragon*Con."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "We've been D&D lunatics since the early Gygax days. Lately we've switched over to Magic: The Gathering because we can actually play it on a lurching band bus on the way to an out-of-state gig."

Are geeks hot — or not? "Geeks and nerds are joined by a common love of ideas, so if you can pry 'em away from a computer or pretend to be a new interface device to their favorite game, you've got a pretty imaginative lover. This is assuming you're not overly concerned about hairstyles or personal grooming issues."

Status: "We keep ourselves aloof from our screaming groupies, so as not to be distracted from our divine mission to carry rock 'n' roll back to the pre-Christian Celtic era and change all history."

Nerdcore and proud: Lee Inman Satterfield (club manager, member of Treephort)

Geek confession: "Founder of nerdrock/nerdcore"; runs an all-ages venue called Swayze's "named after the coolest actor ever, Patrick Swayze."

IQ: "Never had an IQ test, but I got a perfect score on my SAT in high school."

D&D, ADD or AC/DC? "I'm actually in an AC/DC tribute band that plays rednecky karaoke bars."

Pro or Dragon*Con? "I got laid at Dragon*Con, by an actual girl — she wasn't dressed like a Klingon, either."

Ideal date? "Getting oral sex while beating Tony Hawk's 'Pro Skater 3' on my X Box."

Are geeks hot — or not? "Totally hot!"

Status: Available

LEE.SMITH@CREATIVELOAFING.COM''