The Blotter: And this little piggy cried ...

A 35-year-old woman walked into Zesto in Grant Park. Moments later, she called police. Why? The woman said as she entered the restaurant, she hit her right pinky toe on a red stationary chair near the entrance door. The woman “had a small abrasion on the little toe,” the cop noted. The woman insisted that she had looked where she was going before she hit her pinky toe against the chair. Medics and a fire truck responded to the scene to deal with the woman’s pinky toe complaint.

JUST WING IT

In Downtown Atlanta, at an establishment featuring scantily clad waitresses in orange shorts, a Gwinnett County man walked out on his $22.28 tab for chicken wings and curly fries. The manager found a cop and pointed at the dine-and-dasher, as he headed toward Peachtree Center. Backup police units responded and caught the suspect on Courtland Street. The cop did a routine search of the suspect’s belongings: He had $95 in his front right pants pocket (more than enough to cover his $22 tab). It gets worse. In his left pocket, the man had nine grams of leafy-green suspected marijuana and a digital scale. He went to jail on drug possession charges — and the dine-and-dash charge.

SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT

A brawl broke out at a dive bar on Roswell Road. Employees said a 29-year-old man from Charleston, S.C., poured a drink on a woman and pushed her — and a staff member stepped in before it went any further. A cop talked to the woman, who said she’s fine. Then, the cop arrested the 29-year-old man, who allegedly used a racial slur and said he could “buy” the cop. “I placed handcuffs on [the Charleston man] and he said that he had a lawyer he pays $14,000 a month and he would be out in no time,” the cop noted. “I asked [the man] for his ID and he stated he had an open bar tab inside and the bartender took his ID and credit card. I asked the staff to go get the ID and credit card from inside. The staff member returned and stated that his card was declined for $6 and he needed to pay his tab or they would have to charge him for theft of services.” The Charleston man started cursing, and his girlfriend offered to pay the tab for him. The man said he’d been to jail before and he wasn’t scared. OK. Cops took him to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

WITCHY WOMAN AND THE WEB

Near Collier Park, a woman called police and said someone tampered with her back door by removing one of the glass panels. She didn’t notice anything missing from her home, so she “proceeded to place the glass panel back and screw it back in,” the cop noted. Apparently, the next morning, the woman reported a robbery. “She states that the items missing include a washing machine and a dryer unit, a Samsung flat TV, a Singer sewing machine, and a record player. She further [states] that all of the items belonged to her husband, who was currently in jail,” the cop wrote. She showed the cop a court order stating that her husband could not contact her and “upon his release from jail, the husband is to come and retrieve all of his items from the residence, accompanied by police.” The woman said she doesn’t want her husband to think that she had anything to do with all of his thing being stolen from their home.

The woman “seems inconsistent with her story at times,” the cop noted. She showed police the back door — and said the burglars must have pried the door open. “When the police looked at the damage, it appeared that the damage was done from the INSIDE of the house. The outside burglar door did not have any damage to it.” Plus this spooky clue: “The glass panel that [the woman] stated that was removed from the burglar door, the outside of the door still had undisturbed spider webs attached to it ... there is no way that someone entered the home through the rear door unless it was left unlocked.”

HEALTH-CARE SCARE

A woman said a notebook containing Emory patient data was among items stolen from her car in Old Fourth Ward on N. Highland Avenue. The 23-year-old woman said initially, she noticed items moved around inside her Jeep Cherokee but didn’t see anything missing. “So she proceeded to go to school/work at Emory,” an officer noted. A few hours later, she got a call from a man who said “he picked her belongings up from off the Beltline and called the number inside the booklet,” the cop wrote. Apparently, the man returned the woman’s black backpack and coat to her “She further stated she was concerned about patient data that was returned to her.”

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.