The Blotter: Dud buddy

South of Grant Park, a grandmother “grabbed me by the hand and led me to her backyard, where she showed me three marijuana plants growing out of plastic buckets,” an officer wrote. She said they belonged to her 18-year-old grandson who lives with her.

About five minutes later, the grandson returned to their home on Gault Street. The grandson said he recently bought a car from an guy and two days ago, the guy offered him the three marijuana plants which he claimed were male plants and therefore won’t produce marijuana. So the grandson accepted the plants and put them in his backyard. The officer wrote, “I confiscated the plants along with a digital scale observed in plain view in the living room.” The grandson went to jail.

Apparently, he went to jail over impotent marijuana plants that can’t get anyone high: Male marijuana plants do not produce any usable buds. Many growers get rid of male marijuana plants before they flower because they pollinate female marijuana plants. No, the Blotter Diva did not know this beforehand. She Googled it.

PARTY’S OVER: Around midnight, an officer found an unconscious man laying facedown in his own vomit next to his car in a parking lot outside a bar on 12th Street. He wasn’t wearing pants. The officer looked inside the man’s black Ford F-150 and found the man’s pants and ID on the driver’s seat. The man is a 19-year-old from Fayetteville. Medics took him to Grady Memorial Hospital. He didn’t appear hurt or injured in any way — just passed out from booze.

BLING BATTLE, PART 1: A Buckhead man’s relationship went sour and his fiancée returned her posh engagement ring to him. The Buckhead man said he gave the 2.57-carat diamond ring (worth more than $18,000) to a diamond broker to arrange a sale — way back in July 2010. Apparently, for two years, the diamond broker kept giving weird excuses about why the ring never sold, so the Buckhead man told the broker to return the ring. The diamond broker continually refused. Finally, the Buckhead man decided to take action: He called the diamond broker’s boss and found out the diamond broker was fired more than a year ago.

BLING BATTLE, PART 2: In Grant Park, a 24-year-old woman called police and said her boyfriend was furious because she wasn’t wearing the diamond engagement ring that he gave her a few days ago. (First problem: She described him to police as “boyfriend” and not “fiancé.”) She said she told her boyfriend that she “had no reason to wear it” because he “doesn’t know how to act.”

The boyfriend reportedly called her a “bitch” and “ho.” The boyfriend allegedly grabbed a small fan and slammed it on the glass dining room table, but the table didn’t break. Then, the boyfriend grabbed “can of salmon and threw it down on the table, which caused it to crack a little,” an officer noted. Finally, the boyfriend hurled the can of salmon through a closed window, smashing the glass. The salmon can landed on the front porch.

While the officer was interviewing the woman, the boyfriend walked over from a neighbor’s apartment “shouting out that he busted the window,” the officer wrote. The boyfriend said his girlfriend “always pulls a knife out” and said she kept swinging a knife and cut his face during the fight. The officer looked at the boyfriend’s face but didn’t see any marks. The 26-year-old boyfriend went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge. We’ll consider the engagement off for now.

ICED OVER: A former hockey player said someone stole his diamond NHL championship ring while he was moving from his apartment in the West Paces Ferry neighborhood. The ex-hockey player said his championship ring is engraved with his name and it’s worth about $5,000. He said a local moving company packed up all of his stuff and moved the boxes. A moving company rep said they would try to track down the employee that packed the box containing with the man’s championship ring.

HEALTH CARELESS: A nurse at Piedmont Hospital called police about a missing patient. She said a 51-year-old man left the hospital around 9 a.m. without informing the nurses or telling anyone else that he was leaving. According to the officer’s report, the nurse said “that their only concern was the patient had on his arm an ivy (sic), which he was moving around with.” The missing patient was last seen at the Starbucks at Peachtree Battle shopping center, the nurse added. The officer drove to that Starbucks but “was not successful in locating the patient,” he wrote. “Piedmont Hospital did not want to report the patient missing.”

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.