The Blotter January 04 2006

AN OFFICER saw a man walking near a closed business on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. When the man spotted the officer, he turned and walked the other way. The officer asked, What are you doing? The man replied that he was going to the store. The officer said, The store is closed. The man said he just realized the store was closed. The officer repeatedly asked the man for his name. The man replied three times, and each time he spelled his last name differently. Then, the man produced a state identification card — which had an entirely different name on it. The man said he does not go by that name.

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The man was jailed for giving false information to police. The man, age 29, has "Keep It Real" tattooed on his stomach.

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ON JETT STREET, a woman was lying in bed when her male roommate walked in. The roommate had some cake in his hand. He cursed and said, "Hey bitch, you want some cake?" She said she would get up and cut her own piece if she wanted some cake. He called her a "homeless ass bitch." The woman was still lying in bed when her roommate swung a metal pipe at her face. She moved out of the way. He swung again, connecting with her leg. She threatened to call police, and he ran away. Police found the roommate hiding in the parking lot of a church. The roommate, age 49, went to jail.

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LAST SUMMER, a 30-year-old man went to a concert at the HiFi Buys Amphitheatre with his girlfriend and some of her friends. They were tailgating in the parking lot, and grilling some food. The man reached for a piece of cooked chicken. Another woman grabbed a knife and stabbed his left hand, saying that the man couldn't have any more food. The man waited until December to make a police report because he didn't think the injury was that serious. But he just found out that a tendon was cut and he needs hand surgery.

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A MIDDLE-AGED MAN said a thin man showed up at his apartment on Virginia Avenue. The middle-aged man let him come inside because he knows him from a drug rehabilitation center where he did some work. He gave the thin man something to eat. The thin man asked if he could use the computer to fill out some job applications, and he was allowed to do so. While the thin man was on the computer, the middle-aged man fell asleep.

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When the middle-aged man woke up, the thin man was stabbing him with a steak knife. His hand was seriously cut.

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A POLICE OFFICER saw a man running and pulling two lawnmowers down Cherokee Avenue. When the officer got closer, the man tried to get on a MARTA bus with the two lawnmowers. The officer stopped him and asked, Where did you get the lawnmowers? The man said some stranger gave them to him. Eventually, the man said he got the lawnmowers from an acquaintance. The lawnmowers were returned to their rightful owner, and the man was released.

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A 41-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said she gave a man three checks totaling $4,500 to use to buy water to sell at the Million Man March. She gave the man the checks at Houston's restaurant on Lenox Road. The man didn't provide the water, and now he has disappeared.

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A WOMAN parked her car on Trinity Avenue and went to work. At the end of the day, she returned and discovered that someone had broken into her car. The only item stolen: one cinnamon roll. The cinnamon roll is valued at 50 cents. A police report was filed.

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ON GRANT TERRACE, a man said someone stole his concrete pig from the front yard. Wind chimes and other yard art were also missing. A police report was filed.

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AROUND 8:30 A.M., a man pushed a shopping cart with a TV down Glenwood Avenue. An officer pulled up and asked, Why are you in the middle of the road? The man looked at the officer, then looked straight ahead and continued walking. The officer turned on his lights and told the man to move to the sidewalk. The man kept walking, "as if he never heard me," the officer wrote. The officer parked his patrol car at an angle, preventing the man from walking ahead. The man looked directly at the officer's face — then he rammed the shopping cart into the patrol car, breaking the rear view mirror. "Oh shit, oh well," the man said. The man went to jail for "interference with government property."

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SOMEONE BROKE INTO A CHURCH on Nelson Street by smashing a window. The only item stolen: one case of paper towels. This is the fifth time someone has broken into the church. The thieves always break the exact same window.

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ON MEMORIAL DRIVE, a woman called police because she just got off the phone with a man who said he was coming to her work and if he didn't get the money back, he would do worse than Brian Nichols. Police arrived. The man arrived, upset and demanding his money back. The man's sister had gotten into a fight with the staff over a $50 fee for an apartment application. The woman said she could not refund his money but she felt sorry for him and gave him $50 as a donation to him. The man was banned from ever returning to the property. No charges filed.

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All items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta Police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.