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The Blotter June 07 2006

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta Police reports

A 37-YEAR-OLD MAN walked into a police precinct and said his ex-boyfriend threatened to kill him. He said his ex-boyfriend served in Iraq and is highly trained. He said the ex-boyfriend showed him pictures of people that he had killed in Iraq.

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A police report was filed. The ex-boyfriend is described as having a "Southern voice."

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IN CANDLER PARK, a man was pacing around the picnic tables. A police officer walked up and asked the man if he knew the park was closed for the evening. The man replied, "I'm just enjoying the fresh air." Then, the man asked, "What's the time?" The officer said it was 11:47 p.m. The man said he had a right to be in the park, and the officer should call the archdiocese, so they could explain who he is. The man added that he was in a transcendental meditation state.

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The man, age 33, was charged with disorderly conduct while under the influence.

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A 23-YEAR-OLD WOMAN asked another woman to put on some clothes because she was walking around naked in a house on Mayson Turner Road. The naked woman got mad, and a fight broke out. The 23-year-old woman said during the fight, the naked woman pulled out some of her hair-weave extensions.

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A WOMAN said she had $4,000 cash in a bag. She set the bag down in the bathroom of her condo on Peachtree Road. The next day, she left for six hours and returned home. The bag with the $4,000 was missing. There were no signs of forced entry and no one has access to her condo.

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AT THE Westin PEACHTREE PLAZA, a man walked in and ordered breakfast. He dined on a California omelet, a side order of ham, a bagel with cream cheese, coffee and orange juice. Once the man ate all his breakfast, he told the waitress that he didn't have any money. He told her to call police so he could go to jail and wouldn't have to be on the street.

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The man was arrested for theft of services and taken to jail.

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THE PROPERTY MANAGER for an apartment complex on Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard said an extremely tipsy man walked up and tried to hug him. The property manager pushed the tipsy man away. The tipsy man cussed him out, saying, "Fuck you and suck my dick." The property manager asked him who he was, "trying to figure out if he was a tenant." But the tipsy man refused to tell him. The property manager asked the tipsy man to leave, and he complied. Then, the property manager called police.

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Police found the tipsy man about a block away and arrested him for disorderly conduct. He went to jail. (Blotter Diva note: Apparently, there's a lesson here: Don't try to hug strangers when you are drunk.)

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AT HARTSFIELD-JACKSON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, an officer saw a cab driver unloading a passenger. The cab driver's shirt wasn't tucked in. Plus, the cab driver was wearing sandals. The officer told the cab driver that he was violating the dress code. The cab driver said he didn't know the city of Atlanta had a dress code for cab drivers. He got a ticket for dress code violations.

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A MAN was at his house on Akridge Street, and he noticed that his neighbor's Chihuahua was in his yard. So he told his neighbor (a redheaded 64-year-old woman) to get her Chihuahua out of his yard. She went inside her house, grabbed a silver pistol, and fired shots out her front door several times, according to the report. The man didn't know if she was shooting at him or not, he just heard the shots. He said his neighbor is mentally ill, and her son says she has bipolar disorder. The neighbors just want her to get some help. They said she's fired her gun at least twice in the past week. According to the report, the 64-year-old woman "was quite agitated, but then she turned pleasant." She was charged with discharging firearms and went to jail.

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IN THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD on the 13th floor of Grady Memorial Hospital, a man told police that his wife was hit in the head with a small metal jar of lip balm. He said another patient was talking on the phone. Then, the patient got agitated and tossed the lip balm across the room. Both the wife and the patient who tossed the lip balm are at Grady for psychiatric evaluations.

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The police officer then went to talk to the man who tossed the lip balm. He was strapped down in a room. He said he was upset, and admitted to tossing the lip balm. He was apologetic and said he wasn't trying to hit anyone. The wife was unable or unwilling to talk about the lip balm incident.

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The officer offered to file charges, but the man declined, saying he was upset and just wanted to get his wife out of Grady. He said he would follow up on the incident at a later date.

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A WOMAN AND HER BOYFRIEND were at a comedy club on Hardee Street. For some reason, the boyfriend got jealous because the woman was having a good time. He suspected that she was interested in someone at the comedy club.

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They left the comedy club and went to the woman's sister's boyfriend's house on Hardee Street. There, the boyfriend started arguing again.

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Then, he got physical and punched the woman and threw her to the ground. She had minor injuries, but didn't want medical attention.

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lauren.keating@creativeloafing.com

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Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.





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