The Blotter June 06 2007

LAWYERS ARE OUT TO SCREW YOU? An officer talked to a 61-year-old man who said he was sexually assaulted at a group-care home on Beecher Road. The man has severe schizophrenia and Parkinson’s disease. He said 12 men allegedly sodomized him in his bedroom, including Perry Mason (the TV trial attorney from days of yore); Gary Martin Hays (a Georgia personal-injury law firm that runs many TV ads); and Ken Nugent (an Atlanta personal-injury lawyer who also advertises on TV). His alleged assailants also included an 83-year-old man, a 40-year-old man who uses crutches because he can’t walk, and the group-home caretaker. The caretaker said the man’s statements are untrue and the man’s schizophrenia medicine was just upped from 7 milligrams to 2,000 milligrams. (The Blotter Diva ain’t no doctor, but that’s a hefty increase. The medication type was not listed on the police report.) While the police officer was taking the report, the 61-year-old man asked him, “How do people walk through walls?”

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FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD: An officer responded to a domestic dispute at the Varsity on North Avenue. A 20-year-old woman said she and her boyfriend just broke up, and he dragged her with his car, and she followed him to the Varsity and blocked him in. Apparently, the fight began when the boyfriend showed up at her apartment on Westchester Road to get some of his stuff. She said the boyfriend got mad when she couldn’t find his sunglasses. She said he stole her keys, went to her car and stole her yellow brick from inside her car. Then, she said, the boyfriend got into his own car. She said she asked him to return her yellow brick and her keys. She said she saw her keys in his lap and reached into the car to get them, but her boyfriend rolled up the car window on her fingers. Then, she said, he drove down the road with her fingers still attached to the car — and she was dragged down the street. She said the boyfriend eventually rolled down the window, freeing her fingers, and threw her keys at her.

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The boyfriend’s side of the story: He said the girlfriend couldn’t come up with his sunglasses (worth $300), so he grabbed her keys and searched her car for them. He said he took the yellow brick because he knew the yellow brick has sentimental value to her. He said he wasn’t giving back the yellow brick until she returned his sunglasses.

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The officer went back to the ex-girlfriend and asked: “Do you have his sunglasses?” She said she had them on Saturday, but today (Tuesday) she couldn’t recall where the sunglasses were. The boyfriend was arrested for aggravated assault, theft and entering an auto – and taken to jail. Police returned the yellow brick to the girlfriend. (The Blotter Diva notes: The girlfriend’s first name is not Dorothy. Perhaps she is a die-hard Wizard of Oz fan?)

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MAYBE YOU CHEAT, BUT I STILL NEED YOUR CAR: A woman said a 28-year-old man pulled up in a late-model Mercury Sable and pointed an AK-47 machine gun at her home and its occupants. Apparently, this man is angry with a guest who was standing in her yard, because this guest allegedly slept with his girlfriend. She said this man is also mad at her own son, because her son also slept with his girlfriend. However, the Mercury Sable the man was driving ... well, his girlfriend owns the car. She apparently lives with her grandmother (when she’s not allegedly “busy” ... the Blotter Diva must add).

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TURN AND FACE THE CHANGE: At a car wash on Piedmont Avenue, an employee said he hired a 21-year-old man to drive cars, but customers complained that they were missing money from their cars. The employee said he put eight marked quarters and three marked $1 bills in the cupholder of a car. (They were marked with a black Magic Marker, he said.) Then, he told the 21-year-old to move the same car about 15 feet. When the 21-year-old got out of the car, one marked quarter was missing, he said. The 21-year-old was arrested for “fraudulent schemes” ... for taking 25 cents. (Blotter aside: Don’t spend it all in one place.)

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CRANK-CALL NOVICE? On Continental Colony Parkway, a 31-year-old woman said someone is threatening her by phone. She said the caller threatens to physically harm her if she doesn’t follow his instructions. “Furthermore, the person has not given any specific instructions,” an officer wrote. “‘We kid RULE! You parents OBEY!’ is basically the caller’s statement.” A police report was filed.

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JUST PLAIN EVIL: A man said he found a loaded handgun on a playground on Simpson Road. The gun was turned in to Atlanta police.

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POLITE DOESN’T PAY: A 60-year-old man said a man — who was polite and calm — approached him one morning, at the intersection of Monroe Drive and Greenwood Avenue. The polite man allegedly said: “Sir, I have a gun, I need you to please give me your wallet.” The 60-year-old then ran into traffic on Monroe Drive — and the polite man fled. Nothing was stolen.

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Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.