The Blotter November 07 2007

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

FOOTBALL AND HOME TURF WARS: On Ashby Terrace, a 54-year-old man said he was watching football when his live-in girlfriend got mad because he was watching TV. According to the man, she said: "You better turn off that television or else I'll mess you up." He said she had been drinking large amounts of alcoholic beverages all day.

He said the girlfriend went into the kitchen, returned with a can of green beans and threw it at his head. The green-bean can hit his face, causing a cut, he said. Then, he said, she started "going crazy." He said she pulled a large mirror from the bedroom dresser, and it fell on her own leg. The mirror broke, causing a deep cut on the girlfriend's thigh. The girlfriend, age 45, was arrested for aggravated assault.

QUEST FOR PEACE, LOVE AND RED MEAT: At a grocery store on Ponce de Leon Avenue, a 32-year-old man allegedly took two strip steaks (worth $27.14) and tried to leave the store without paying. He ran, but security guards stopped him. The man wore khaki shorts and has "Fuck Dem Pigs" tattooed on both arms. He was arrested for shoplifting. At the jail, police itemized the man's belongings: one pair of black-and-white shower slippers and one paperback book titled How to Expand Love, authored by the Dalai Lama.

REVENGE ON DON JUAN? A 21-year-old man said he saw another man breaking the windshield on his Honda Civic. Apparently, the suspect took off. The 21-year-old man inspected his car and noticed scratches that read: "I got herpes." The 21-year-old man lives on Casanova Street.

WHY SLICE THE TOMATO FIRST? A 20-year-old woman arrived home and noticed tomato slices and french fries dumped on her doorstep. She suspects a female neighbor. A police officer spoke with the neighbor, who firmly denied the food-dumping. Both women admit that they don't get along, and there's a history of disputes.

CLOTHES ARE FOR SISSIES, PART I: At a hotel on West Peachtree Street, a security guard said a naked man was swimming in the pool — in full view of guests and passers-by. (It was about 10 a.m.) The guard detained the man, age 29. He said he wanted to take a shower. He wasn't a hotel guest. A police officer told the man to get dressed. He was arrested for indecency and taken to jail.

CLOTHES ARE FOR SISSIES, PART II: At Underground Atlanta, several people reported that a naked woman was walking outside, along Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. A police officer found the woman, "who was only wearing a torn sweater top and exposing her gentail [sic] area," he wrote. (It was about 10:30 a.m.) Underground Atlanta security guards said the woman had left her shoes and clothes in a parking deck. The officer wrote: "[The woman] said her clothes were too tight, so she took them off." The woman — age 26 and homeless — was arrested for indecent exposure. She went to Grady Memorial Hospital for a mental evaluation.

WELCOME TO ATLANTA! Two young women from Charlotte, N.C., were visiting Atlanta. One woman said they were on Lenox Road when a man grabbed her arm and asked, "How much?" (It was about 1:30 a.m.) The woman said she was afraid the man would hurt her and her friend. A police officer spoke with the man, age 25. He said he just told the women they were pretty and he liked them. He was arrested for disorderly conduct.

IDIOT PARENTS OF THE WEEK: An officer saw a 40-year-old man standing in the middle of the driveway on James P. Brawley Road. "He noticed the presence of uniformed officers and dropped a small orange baggie out of his right hand with a brown object inside," the officer wrote. The officer inspected the orange baggie: "I immediately recognized the bag contained heroin." The man was arrested. "He then stated, 'Officer, I need a quick fix,'" the officer noted. Police found another orange baggie containing suspected heroin in his pants pocket. A computer check revealed the man had a suspended driver's license. According to the police report, the man said: "I came all the way from Macon, Ga., just to get high." He said a friend drove him to Atlanta — along with his two kids, ages 7 and 10. The officer called the kids' mother in Macon. She said the kids could be released to the same friend who drove their father and the kids to Atlanta — because she did not have a ride to Atlanta.

FASHION POLICE PUSH FOR A CAREER CHANGE: One evening, police were working undercover in an area known for prostitution on Memorial Drive. An officer spotted a young man walking back and forth. The officer wrote: "He was walking with an over extended gate [sic]. The person's hips were swinging back and forth with an exaggerated action. [He] was wearing a pair of Black High Heel boots that lace up. [He] was also wearing a pair of short shorts that had cut slits all the way up above the rear pockets. [He] was wearing lip gloss and large earrings."

The officer identified himself as Atlanta police. "I informed him that I am speaking with [him] about his choice of shorts that have his entire buttocks exposed." The young man is just 18 years old. The officer ticketed him for public indecency, but didn't take the youth to jail. "I also informed [him] that working as a prostitute is illegal and very dangerous. [He] said, 'I know, I won't be out here again, and thank you.'"

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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